Coming Out

Chapter 3

The rest of the day went by in a blur, I spent my time looking at the clock and unfolding and refolding Collin's number.

When school ended and my classmates packed up their things and headed out, a sense of dread kicked in. What if Mom wasn't as understanding as Cam? What if Dad didn't like it? What if they kicked me out? What would I do? What if Collin didn't like me back? Would any of this even be worth it?

I stood and headed outside where Cam was waiting for me. His face was grim, he was preparing for the encounter just as much as I was.

"So, I was thinking that I should tell Mom first, without Dad." I looked down at my feet as we walked.

Cam put his arm around my shoulder, "Sounds like a plan. If you want, I could try and keep Dad distracted down in his 'Man Cave'."

I looked up at Cam, his mouth was set in a hard line and his eyes stayed forward. I let my eyes fall back to the ground. It was no easy feat to distract Dad when he was in bad condition. He did what he wanted when he wanted and usually, everyone else was too afraid to say no to him.

"You would do that? I- I mean, you don't have to do that."

Cam shrugged as if it were no big deal, "I've done it before, just try and be as fast as you can." I felt the smile in his words and looked up at him. His smile was forced and I saw fear in his eyes. A wave of anger that I couldn't quite place tightened my chest. We shouldn't have to be afraid of talking with parents, we shouldn't have to run up to our rooms and lock the door for fear that Dad might not be in such a good mood, we shouldn't feel unsafe in our own home.

We walked in silence the rest of the way home letting dread condense in the pits of our stomachs. I stopped us on the porch and turned to Cam, who hesitated to meet my eyes, "Thank you so much, for everything. I just wanted to say that, and that I love you." I gave him an awkward sibling hug.

"Hey man, C'mon, I was getting my game face ready," he patted my back, "I love you too, now go tell mom that you're gay as the day is long." I pushed back and glared at him before heading inside.

I could hear the TV running down in the basement/Man Cave, and Cam followed it, leaving me in the kitchen. My heart rate sped up drastically without Cam at my side. I heard the front door open behind me and nearly jumped out of my skin.

"Oh hey, Tom, how was school?" My mom scuttled past me, hands full of groceries.

"Uh, it was uneventful," I said, taking two of the bags from her and shakily setting them on the counter.

She rubbed her hands on her pants, "Oh thank you-" she saw my face, "Tommy honey is there something wrong?"

I took a deep breath and led her to the dining room table. Her face was creased in concern, but she didn't say anything.

"Um, Mom, I need to tell you something..." I looked at her, awaiting permission, although it wasn't needed, I was so afraid that even the smallest bit of confirmation would help my confidence.

She nodded quickly and gestured for me to continue.

I took another deep breath, "Um, so I know that you were always so upset that I didn't have a girlfriend, even in my sophomore year, and um well, I- I just don't think that will happen..."

Mom looked worried, "What is it because you think none of the girls like you? I'm sure some of them do, don't worry about it."

This was going to be difficult. I shifted in my seat, "No Mom, it's not that."

Mom grabbed my hands, "Then what is it?"

She looked so worried, it made it difficult for me to continue, but I did, "Well, I don't think I'm going to have a girlfriend because, because well, frankly I would prefer a boyfriend."

I did it. I dropped the big, gay, rainbow bomb on her.

Mom's eyes shone with tears, she opened her mouth to speak when "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY THOMAS BENJAMIN RILEY?"