Salem and Suede

Chapter 2

11 years BFB

"I'm moving"

"What are you talking about?" Ivanna looked up from putting on mascara to stare incredulously at Maria.

"I'm moving to Ohio to be with Justin, I just, my parents wont let me visit him and it has started so many fights, plus I feel so lost without him" Maria plopped onto Ivanna's orange and pink colored bed and stared at her ceiling.

"Are you serious? You're really going to move all the way to Ohio?" Maria sat up and nodded.

"Yeah, I'm going to start packing tomorrow, I want to leave this Saturday"

"This Saturday? How are you going to get there?" Maria shrugged.

"Bus maybe and I'll just have my stuffed shipped over to Ohio for me" Ivanna turned in her chair giving up on finishing her make up.

"No, I'll take you"

"Really?" Maria felt like crying, the past few days seemed to feel like an endless spiral of drowning in her anxiety and sadness and her best friend was here, offering her hand to help her out of it.

"Yeah, it'll be a road trip! And I can visit Ron" Maria beamed, everything was starting to fall into place, her life was finally going to the way she wanted it to.

After packing up all her stuff in Ivanna's car and a tense Goodbye to her parents Maria and Ivanna started the five-and-a-half-hour journey to Ohio State University. They laughed, sung and ate way too much fast food but in the end where able to make it to the house, that Justin was renting with some of his friend off campus, by eight o'clock. Running into Justin's arms Maria felt like all was right in her world, like her fairytale was about to begin, oh but how wrong and naïve she was.

Though the next two years where filled with small happy moments they where also filled with moments of lonely isolation, depression and many many tears, her relationship didn't end up being how she thought it would be and though she was terribly unhappy she stuck by Justin doing everything she could to salvage their relationship and keep it afloat, doing the things he asked when he asked even if it made her feel used, worthless and depressed. Maria did so much for him, paid for his food, the gas for his car since he drove her to work and paid for everything their cat 'Giorgio Armani' need, but alas it wasn't enough. Maria was desperate to marry Justin, even if she was extremely unhappy at least it was better than being alone or she thought.

Maria moved back a year before he was meant to graduate, she wanted to get settled back home, find a job, get enrolled back into school and start saving money not only for an apartment for the two of them and Giorgio but also for the wedding she thought they would be having as the already spoke about getting married not only with each other but with her parents. For months Maria worked and saved as much as she could while living with her grandmother and even began planning her wedding until one chilly October evening she got a text from Justin saying that he wanted to talk to her, a lump formed in her throat and took a deep breath to steady herself before dialing his number. Seven rings later he picked up the phone.

"Hey babe, how was your day?" He sounds normal she thought.

"Good, nothing too out of the ordinary today, how was your day?" she paced around her room as she waited for his response, he was suddenly quiet on the other end.

"Listen Maria, you know I love you right?" Her heart seized and she froze mid-step. "You know I would never want to hurt you intentionally?"

"Justin, what's going on?" Maria walked over to her bed and sat down.

"My therapist thinks that our relationship is getting in the way of my school work, I need to focus on my studies now and I think maybe we should break up" Hot tears slid down Maria's face, she had worked so hard, she did everything he asked, she tried to be the best girlfriend to him and it still wasn't enough. She didn't buy that stupid excuse at all, He didn't need her anymore, she was useless to him five hours away. Taking a deep breath, she tried but failed to conceal the fact that she was crying and decided that maybe he wasn't worth fighting for.

"If that's what you want then that's fine Justin" There was a brief pause, he was probably shocked by the fact she easily gave in, he probably thought she would be more devastated, yelling and begging him to stay.

"Maria, are you sure?" She rolled her eyes, he wasn't happy with how she was reacting.

"If being with me is stressing out to the point in which you cant focus in school then I'm not going to fight you on it, I just want you to be happy and if you aren't happy with me than that's fine" A new wave of fresh tears spilled from her eyes, a sob was creeping up on her and she knew she wouldn't be able to hold it in any longer.

"Maria that's not-". She hung up she didn't want to hear anymore, all she wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry her heart out. As she curled up under blanket she let out a gut wrenching sob that ripped through her as she buried her face in her pillow to muffle sound, it was past nine o'clock at night and she didn't want to wake up her grandmother. For two weeks she cried herself to sleep wondering what she did wrong, she would replay memories over and over again analyzing everything, trying to pinpoint a clue, any clue, a gesture a phrase in which he deemed her unworthy of his affections and decide to wait until she was far enough away where a face to face conversation wouldn't be possible.

Telling her parents was harder than she imagined, they had loved Justin, her whole extended family had loved him. Her dad took it the hardest, he was furious when she had told him.

"He owes me an explanation! He stood here in our home talking with us about how much he loved you, how much he loved our family and asked for our permission and blessing to marry you and know your relationship is getting in the way of his school work? After two years where you were living just ten houses down from him it was all fine and now that your back home five hours away you are distracting him?" Maria shrugged it was all she could do, she was tired of crying, she felt hollow and spent and she just wanted it all to end.

In the next month Maria was forced to go to each and every family member and tell them the wedding was off, though they hadn't sent out invitations her whole extended family on both sides of her parents knew her and Justin where going to get married in the coming summer. Another person who took it hard was her Grandmother who asked her what did she do wrong? In her grandmother's mind Maria had to have been at fault, Justin was perfect in her mind, she praised him endlessly telling everyone that he was her favorite out of all her granddaughters significant others.

It took Maria months with the help of Ivanna to come to terms with the fact that the future she had envisioned was gone and she started to pick up the pieces. She started going out more, Ivanna had also just gotten out of an engagement and was more than willing to drink her sorrows away with Maria at different bars on the weekend. As time went by they both healed finding that being single felt easier, it was less pressure and they got back to being their old happy, crazy selves. They knew one day they would both get married to the right people but for now where content in just finding themselves.