Nothing Will Ever Be Perfect, Remember That

Chapter one

I walked and walked. I just kept walking. Where was I going? How far would I go? Who knows. I wish I could just disappear, not forever but for a while. Maybe just a day or two. Even for just an hour, 2 minutes! I just want to go away for a while and not deal with anything. Not have to think about anything, not have to face anything, I just want to do nothing. Nothing at all.
Is that so much to ask? I guess it is, everything for me is to much. Anything I want is too much to ask for. To be happy, to get 3 full meals everyday, to not have anyone be so dependent on me all the time. To have my dad is too much to ask. Everything is too much to do, it doesn't matter if it's small or big, anything is too much effort for me.

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I open the door slightly, trying not to wake my mom. I walk in to see my mom passed out on the couch, empty beer bottles, almost empty wine bottles, all on the floor surrounding the light grey couch.

One day, I swear, I'm going to walk into this house and my mom will be laying on the floor. Dead. Drowned in her own vomit.

My mom wasn't mean. She was actually really nice. I could tell that she tried to be a good mom, to have a stable family. But often she wouldn't think. She wouldn't think about me, she wouldn't think about her own health, mentally and physically, she would only think about all the pain she's going through. But who could blame her? Not for drinking, for feeling the way she does.
My dad is gone, working. Working far away. I know he's trying to keep our heads above water, trying not to go into debt. He's trying to make sure my mom and I have a roof over our heads and have dinner on our table. We do have the money. Except we don't get food out of it. My mom wastes all our money buying stuff. Stuff like beer bottles, cans, wine bottles, ciders, cigarettes, anything along that line. Thank god she doesn't do any drugs, but I mean what difference would that make? I guess nothing.

Since my mom wastes 8O% of our money, I'm surprised it's not more, we only has enough to pay most of the bills. Bills like, the mortgage, utility bills, council tax and insurance. All because my dad gets really good money working in the oil field. As for the rest of the bills, I was forced to get 2 jobs, that I have to work everyday after school from, Monday-Friday and work in the weekends on some occasions. The odd Friday I get off.

Sadly, my dad doesn't just work away from home to make money. He works away from home to get away. To get away from my mom, me, my older brother and sister and just everything in general. My sister moved out almost 3 years ago. She moved out right when she turned 18. I wish she took me and my brother, but she said somebody has to stay with mom.
It's almost like my brother moved out though, he's working a lot too. He only has one job, but works way more shifts than I do with my 2 jobs combined. My brother and I work at black creek general store together, so at least I get to see him there when I work. As I said I have 2 jobs. So what is my other job you ask? Well I guess it's not really a "job", but I get payed. I work for this little old lady, a few kilometres from my house. I help her with yard work and sometimes cook for her. I go over to her house 2 times a week, Monday and Wednesday and sometimes Friday, when I'm not working at the black creek general store.

I guess I never actually introduced myself. Hi. My name is Fay. My full name is Faylyn Abigail Harper Rael.
I was named after my great great auntie Fay, on my moms side. My parents wanted names that were after old relatives. My first middle name Abigail was after my great great auntie Fay's mother and Harper comes from my auntie Fay and her mother Abigail both were harp players. Therefore my name is Faylyn Abigail Harper Rael.

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Thanks for reading the first chapter. Sorry it was boring, it was more of an introduction, as will the next chapter be. It will explain the rest of her family and there names, etc.
I won't be having a specific schedule of when I will be posting, I'll just post when I can. Sorry if there are any mistakes or something that doesn't make sense, I didnt look over it.