sing to me

prologue

"and you did that, why?" I didnt make eye contact. i didn't have to look at her to know she was crying.

"because everyone thinks im a happy, strong person and im not! im not!" she paused with a sniffle. "with every passing day i get more and more reclusive. at this point im a class A hermit."

"that doesnt answer my question, Aysha." looking up at her through my eyelashes.

"what even was your question? im confused." she notices me looking at her, so she turns to take in the childrens finger paintings. i look back at my notes.

"my question was why did you try and kill yourself? the reason you gave me was very inelaborate. is there something you're not telling me?" after i finish talking i hear her shift in her seat, uncomfortably.

"i didnt mean to make you uncomfortable," i look up at her. "but these questions will help you in the long run" she rubs her red, worn, eyes.

"i tried to kill myself because im tormented by the fact i will never life the life i want." she stares back at me. "i want a happy. quaint family. white picket fence, golden retriever, the whole nine yards,"

i nod and begin taking notes.

"but i cant. i wasn't raised in a household that will ever allow me to form a healthy relationship with a man. i always try to much or care too little. yes, this isn't grounds for suicide. but i try so hard to make things work. i'm 18, i havent had a relationship past 3 months, Dr.Egan."

she begins to cry again.

"i just want to be happy." she sniffs and wipes her tears with her sweater sleeve.

my clock goes off, it was the end of her session.

she grabs her purse and phone, beginning to walk out of the door.

i speak up. "you should get out of the house more," she stops to look at me.

"thanks for the concern, Dr.Egan. But i hate people." she turns and walks away.

"don't forget your next appointment!" i erect from my chair to bellow this statement, then fall back into the cushions.

with a sigh i mutter, "what a woman."