I come to the school in a rush, heart pounding, head whirling, and overall, ego deflated, and dead.
Am I dead? In theory; yes, but sadly, my heart still works away in my chest, keeping my broken, lost mind alive within me. And that makes me want to just collapse into a coma until Sam is mine.
Every person that tries to prod information out of me, as they come up on me like hungry vultures, pecking at my thoughts, gets this - "Get away you vermin! STAY AWAY!" Most move on... I'm not harsh, I'm quiet and soft, and I always appear to school next to Sam, laughing my head off with him. The few that remain on my trail to the entrance of the school trail off eventually as I continue to shout obscenities at them.
My heart slowly erodes through the day. As I sit in class, my mind normally avidly focused on the lesson of the day that will be absorbed happily into my sponge of a brain is just sitting there looking like a complete, brainless idiot.
"Lana! What is an Epi - Pen by defintion?" It's biology. At 10 I knew that answer; I would perk up and reply in a bright, know - it - all voice - "Epi - Pen is an abbreviation for epinephrin, an adrenaline that temporarily arrests anaphylaxis." Today I stare up at the teacher like he's speaking greek. With a slow shake of his head, my confused teacher moves on, staring at me nervously. I feel bad about that.
The car's tires finally stop on the place where Sam and I would always park when we went to our log. Flicking on our favorite song playlist, I blink back several hot, salty tears, and stumble forward. My voice cracks noticeably as I sing along numbly to the tones.
I'm stop dead up the path as I see a muscular figure hunched over on the log, alone. His outline is all I see in the eyes of the setting sun. Giving a tiny squeak of delight, my shoes begin to slide on the mud as I run towards him.
Seconds later, I leap on him with a small yell of, "Sam!", and both of us go tumbling over the edge of the log. I can feel the frozen mud sinking into my jeans, and whimper slightly. I'm laying on top of Sam, who is face down in the mud, unaware I was there until I'd pinned him to the forest floor.
Sam sits up, a bemused expression on his face. "Lana... hi." He casually spits some dirt of out of his mouth, and peers sideways at the leaves stuck to his cheek. "Er... do you mind?"
Carefully, both of us climb back up on the log, and I clean his face meticulously. "I'm glad I met you here Sam. You not being with me all the time is like a dull ache." He nods solemnly, and the look on his face makes me think he's going to kiss me for a second, but he just stares at me all the time, not moving. I can't hide the disappointment evidently, because I feel his soft touch on my chin.
"Baby, what's wrong?" I blink, and look up into his concerned eyes, that hold such a bright sparkle and delight.
Sam just shakes his head. "Even if we have a few minutes together, it will never be the same. We can't be like we were before unless my mom agrees." A tear slips down his face, and he hastily shakes it away. "I... have to go."
I'm just about ready to kill Sam. The Sam I know would just power past his mother, and get me back as his best friend. And I would help him; be by his side for it all. So what had happened to Sam? Did... did his mother never tell him to get away? What... if he hated me....?
My heart pounds resoundingly in my chest, and I nervously fiddle with my necklace. Eventually, I work up the courage, and my hand slams into Sam's door. The hollow bang of the wood sets me off, and I start to mumble quickly words even I don't know under my breath and pacing.
"Oh. It's you. Conduct yourself like a lady!" The voice of a woman that reminded me of a bossy chipmunk froze me mid word. Not daring to even chew my gum, thoughts spin through my mind of what to do - say.
Turning around, the bold choice escapes me. "You can't do this! It's not up to you who Sam is friends with or girlfriends with. So leave it alone. Now." After I say it, I brace myself for the blow. It takes all of my self control not to cower down, and all of my bravery and love not to run away. But I don't move. I stay standing up; confident and angry.
Mrs. Czopek shuts the door slowly, and calmly. She turns to me, her dark eyes sparkling, and her dark hair cascading down her shoulders. "I am his MOTHER! It is completely up to me. Leave. And I don't ever want to see your face again." When I don't move, when my frame does flicker, I feel a hot hand move to my face.
All sanity slips from my mind. "YOU SLAPPED ME? I LOVE SAM AND I WON'T GIVE HIM UP! DEAL WITH IT!" I scream at the top of my lungs hoping Sam would hear and rescue me. Indeed, after my words, I hear someone trying to pull open the door, two someones now. I figure Sam's dad, Ben Murray, had to have come and tried to help.
Sam's face is coated in a thin layer of sweat when he swung open the door with a nervous looking Ben behind him. Sam's dad looks just like him. So does his mother; or so I've been told. She died ages ago. I suppose that merits an explanation :
Ben and Lacey Murray were 25 years olds when they had a son that they named Sam. And it was all perfect...
Until around Sam's 6 month mark. His mother, Lacey, started to forget small things. At first, it really was nothing. It was like forgetting to put the keys away. But it got worse. Much worse.
By the time Sam was 9 months old, Lacey was forgetting her brother's name, or other *huge* things. Ben desperately tried to help her, but his wife had gone a little crazy. They were dealing with it though, and living past it with no problem, so neither of them looked for help or confided the disaster in a soul.
One morning though... Lacey woke up confused -
"What... who are you? Where AM I?" Ben had explained it all... that he was her husband, and that Lacy had a son, Sam. She believed him, and stayed home while Ben went to work, not dazed by the fact that his wife had forgotten it all. It WOULD come back.
He came home to dead silence. No one was there. He panicked of course. Lacey could have been holding Sam, then had a mental attack, forgotten it all, and dropped him. Sam would have died... and of course Lacey would have hidden it and ran. Too little, too late, Ben told the police and a psychologist, who helped, but could not do much...
Lacey, having literally lost her mind, held onto the memory that Sam was her son. She forgot all else. Soon, the terrified mother had her son taken from her by child services, lost that memory too, and was murdered on the street for the little money she had left.
When Ben got the call, he tried not to cry. It had been 3 months since he'd seen her, and now she was gone. Then Sam came to mind. When he asked about a baby, they said that it was taken by child services a month ago, and already adopted out. Sam was not to be raised by his mom or dad.
He was adopted to a woman by the name of Rowanda Czopek. She was born in India, and moved to America as a young teenager. Quickly forming her own morale system, she adopted Sam. Rowanda raised Sam into her religion, but Sam was different; more like Ben and former Lacey. He resisted enough to stay sane with being taught all of the horrors of his "mom's" mind.
Sam was 4 before Miss Czopek sought out Ben for Sam's own good. Though Ben came, he had to purpose to now Mrs. Czopek to be able to be with his son. Though Rowanda loved Sam, and Ben, Ben didn't love Rowanda. Just Sam. He did it all for Sam, and had told both of us several times that he would leave Mrs. Czopek and come live near where Sam was planning on living later, because that had been his desire for years.
Back to the present :
"You slapped Lana? Rowanda! And what is this, about forbidding Sam to see her?" Ben sounded angry, and rather confused.
My heart soared like an eagle leaping into the sky. If Ben didn't know, he would side with me, and Sam - who was clearly forced by his mother, and Sam and I could be together.
