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Autism

"Your father had a heart attack." I felt tears appear in my eyes as my heart broke. "Is he still alive?" I asked peaking in the living room to see my autistic angel playing with a red pull back car.

"Yes, he's fine. They put a pacemaker in. The main problem is that he misses the both of you." I nodded. "We miss you both as well. I'll see if I can get Justin to go. He hates traveling." She hummed. "I know Pattie. If you can't make it that's okay." I sighed and saw Justin frown once the toy car hit the carpet near the door. He grunted in frustration and started rubbing his arms aggressively. "Justin baby no! I got to go mom." I hung up the phone and ran up to him and grabbed his hands. "You can't do that sweetie." He whimpered and cried harder. "Tell me what's wrong baby." He struggled in my grip. "Wrong baby," he echoed still trying to rub or scratch his arms. I held one arm and grabbed his car with the other.

"Here baby try again." I put it down and Justin stared at it disaprovingly. "Here sweets you have to do it like this," I said oncw I realized he was still upset. He stopped me once I tried to move it. "No I do it," he mumbled taking the car from my grasp. "Okay honey how do you do it?" He frowned pulling the car back away from the carpet. Once he let go of the car it zoomed across the room. Justin laughed happily and flapped his hands rapidly. I smiled and kissed his forehead. He got up to continue playing with his cars and I began to pack for us both.

After I finished packing I went out to the living room where I saw my baby nearly sleeping while watching a random cartoon on Netflix. "Hey sweetie," I said brushing the bangs out of his face. He smiled softly. "Do you want to go on a car ride?" He shook his head. "Come on sweets. You can sleep in the car. Don't you want to see grandma and grandpa?" He nodded but still refused to move. "Come on." I tried to help him up, but he freaked out. He cried and fell on the floor harshly. "No no no no!" He was thrashing, crying, and scratching his arms to the point of bleeding.
"Okay okay calm down you don't have to go." He calmed slightly but was still crying and breathing hard. I got up off the couch but Justin grabbed my legs. "Let me get your snuffy okay?" He nodded and sighed shakily. I grabbed the stuffed animal from his room and printed out flyers asking for a caregiver. I wrote my email and number then printed them.

I walked out to the living room and saw Justin licking his bleeding arms. "Baby stop it. That's icky." He stopped and sat with his hands in front of him like a cat. I set the flyers on the counter and grabbed a washcloth.  "Come here honey." I wiped his arms as he silently cried. "I know it hurt, but you did well baby. Do you want some candy?" He straightened out of fear. "N-no car." I nodded. "Yes, honey no car." Luckily we found a place to live that was close to a store and pharmacy to get Justin's vitamins.

I put headphones on him and gave
him the MP3 player. Stores give Justin anxiety and sensory overload, but music calms him enough for him to get through it pretty well. We got to the store and I grabbed the flyers out of my purse. "You can go look for candy," I said in ASL so Justin wouldn't have to take off his headphones. He nodded and walked off without a word. I hung them up quickly so Justin wouldn't be alone for long.

Once I was done I jogged to the candy aisle and immediately saw Justin organizing the candy by the color of the wrappers. "Justin? Did you pick one?" I asked once I noticed he had one headphone off to hear if I was coming. "All of them!" He said excitedly with his hands flapping rapidly. "No honey. You can have 3. Remember what happened the last time you had a sick belly?" He nodded looking at the candy and showing no emotion. "You ate 15 pieces of candy behind my back huh?" He frowned and shook his head. "That was nurse's fault," he mumbled still not looking up at me. I giggled. "There was no nurse that day Justin." He frowned and began stroking his arms. "Oh," he responded as I smiled at him.

"3 okay?" He nodded and struggled to pick some out. Finally he decided on a pack of gummies, a pack of chocolate, and a pack of fruit snacks. "All done?" He nodded and looked at his organized piles we had yet to clean up and he frowned. "What's the matter baby?" He shook his head. "It's organized better this way." I sighed. "No one can get what they want if it's all on the floor my prince." He nodded and put on his other headphone. "Can I get help?" I signed to him. He shook his head and smiled devilishly. I rolled my eyes and cleaned up after my autistic angel while he watched me and listened to his music.

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