Barkeep! | Dazai X Reader

Prologue

First entered the man aspiring to become a journalist. She remembered him from his reddish-brown hair and the slouch he had as soon as he sat. The second to come into the bar was the suicidal one. His bandages made him different from the rest. The last was a man whose interests were hidden from everyone else. It was his straight forward personality that made him different from the group. How these three got together was entirely beyond the young barmaid, but their friendship was so strong and beautiful that it seemed like nothing could have separated them for too long.

Y/N worked at Lupin's the night those three last recorded the memory of their friendship. While they took their photos, Dazai had requested to personally keep a photo of the barmaid.

"Ango~ Can I have a picture of the barkeeper? I want to remember her," he begged the man in the glasses.

Ango just sighed and gave him the camera, saying, "Fine, but only one! Film for these kinds of cameras are very expensive, you know."

"Yay!" He took the camera from Ango and took a picture of (Y/N). "This is to remind me to go looking for you when I can, that way I can ask you a big, big, big, bigbigbigbig question~!" Once the film came out he handed Ango the camera with a small thank you and he got his things ready to leave.

The men went on their way, and (Y/N) never saw them for quite a while. As a matter of fact, she never saw Oda or Ango ever again. After a rough few weeks of waiting for the three best friends to return to the bar, she and the other barkeeper grew worried that the three friends may have split up. "Impossible," is what they thought together, "There's no way they split. Maybe they're just busy!" They were not. The keepers would soon find out that two of the three would never be coming back to Lupin's for a long time, and the other would be spending every day for the next 2 years crashing there.

For 2 years nearly every night, the same thing happened. Dazai would enter, the bartender would give him whatever he usually drinks, he would ramble about suicide and remember his friend Oda and "damn him for leaving too soon." The poor, bandaged man would talk about his recent attempts in a joking manner until he drank enough to pass out at the bar, which at that point (Y/N) would personally take him to his home. Dazai had no emergency contact anymore now that he'd left the mafia, so (Y/N) had to bring him.

She would take his coat and shoes off for him and lay him in his bed with a note explaining what had happened and who brought him home that night so that when he would wake up he wouldn't be too disoriented. The note always said something like, "You were talking about your most recent attempt yesterday, and then you went to lay your head down and fell asleep on accident. The barmaid brought you home. Drink lots of water when you wake up!"

But (Y/N) hated it. Every night when she took Dazai back home she was reminded of just how much she hated the works of this city. She hated every moment that a Port Mafia member would breathe in the same room as her, and she hated how the police would walk around the streets ignoring their pompous attitude. (Y/N) absolutely despised the Armed Detective Agency as well as every single organization to ever exist in the city of Yokohama.

"I'm tired of working at this stupid ass bar listening to this drunk suicidal idiot ramble while pretending to give a shit about his dumb ass problems. I'm growing sick and tired of carrying his tall ass home and leaving a note on his bed every fucking night just so he wouldn't get confused. I'm tired of taking his disgusting ass shoes off for him and his sweaty ass coat and hanging that shit on the fucking swanky ass coat rack just so his bitch ass would wake up knowing where his fuckin coat was. I don't feel bad that this man doesn't know how to take care of himself properly, I feel fucking disgusted." (Y/N) wrote this in her diary just 3 months before Dazai joined the Armed Detective Agency.

"So I got myself fired from Lupin's. How did I do that? I showed my true colors. I would slam drinks onto the counter and come to work late when I wasn't feeling like going (which was every day). I purposefully made customers irritable and started violating food-safety regulations. Much to my delight, the owner fired me. I didn't have to bring that punk home anymore, and I most certainly didn't ever have to see him ever again." She wrote this only 10 days before Dazai joined the Agency.

We don't know what pushed her to start her destruction, but soon after she left Lupin's she became an enemy to everyone. She was an enemy to the Port Mafia, the Armed Detective Agency, and any other organization that ever wants to do anything. In being everyone's enemy, she found a great pleasure. If she could simultaneously screw up everyone's lives and pit them against each other, she could get what she really wanted out of her life. What that is, we are unaware of just yet.

First on her list was to screw with the Port Mafia. This was because she worked at a bar serving them for so long that eventually their stories got predictable. (Y/N) decided to bring a splice of unpredictability to the mafia by gathering the people that Mori has killed and having them haunt him for half of a year, leaving him with a lot of failed missions on his executives' part. The spirits would wait in Mori's office and listen in on missions, then they would follow the executives around and completely ruin their advantages. A particular ghost with the ability to stop time would use his ability and pull the bullets fired from the mafia out of thin air so that they wouldn't hit the enemy.

Next, to mess with the Agency (Y/N) allowed a ghost to posses a body and intentionally give them and also the Port Mafia similar missions that would lead them both to butt heads and fight. At the end of each of these such missions, the Agency would be forced to give the upper hand to the Port Mafia, which lowered their reputation, and sent the people of Yokohama to a panic.

Small pranks that set the agency and the mafia even more against each other continued, even after Atsushi was added to the picture. She would torture him especially, using the spirits of some old friends from the orphanage who have passed away. It tore him to pieces each night seeing their spirits watching over him and talking about their death and what it's like to die.

 Yokohama was a trash city with nothing but bad going on, and she had to stop it from spreading somehow. She decided in that moment she would stop it from continuing by destroying the city entirely. No survivors.

***

A/N: If you find any grammar or spelling mistakes please let me know so I can fix them. The next chapter will definitely be longer.