doomed by renee thompson

chapter one

Jonah's POV 

"Get your ass up!" my mom exclaims as the clock turns six. I groan, but pull off my covers and stand up. 

"Guys, didn't you hear her? Wake up" I mumble, lightly shaking my siblings' shoulders. 

"We don't have to be on the bus for another hour, let us sleep for another half an hour." 

"Yeah, what he said!" 

"Alright, well, if y'all want an ass whipping from Pablo-" 

"No" they all begin stammering. First to get up is Milo, who just turned 13 a few weeks ago. He really thinks he's hot shit now. Next to get up was Savannah, who is 9. Her tight curls bounced as she stood up. Lastly was Chloe, who is 5. Her curls were brushed out and put into pigtails. 

"Get dressed for school, I'll make breakfast" I smile lightly. I grab some black jeans and a Nike hoodie. Milo closes the door behind me. I walk out into the living room to see Pablo holding his daughter, Lorena. I swallow hard and wordlessly make my way to the kitchen. 

I open the fridge to see a half gallon of chocolate milk, two leftover boxes, a bunch of unnecessary mostly empty sauce bottles, and two tall jugs of tequila. I sigh quietly. I get out the chocolate milk and pour three mugs. Scavenging through the cabinets, I find them each a s'mores poptart. 

"What's on the menu?" Savannah questions as she comes up behind me. I hand Brooklyn her designated Rihanna mug that said "shine bright like a diamond." She sips and smiles. I hand her a wrapped pair of poptarts. Chloe came shortly after Savannah began eating. Chloe cheered when she received her poptart and her My Little Pony Mug. Lastly, Milo came in and picked up his Fortnite mug. 

"S'mores poptarts? Really?" 

"What's wrong with poptarts?" I question, catching a glance at the girls munching down. 

"That shit is for babies, man" Milo mutters. 

"Well, you'e not grown, little man, so watch your mouth" I say sternly. Milo begins to reach for the poptart, but a strong hand from behind him grabs it first. Milo's head and mine jolt up to see Pablo behind Milo. We both flinch. 

"Lorena will love these" Pablo smirks, taking the pack in his hands. 

"Hey, that was mi-" 

"If I heard correctly, you were complaining about it, so they're hers." 

"But, I need breakfast-" 

"You mother does her best to provide for you! Maybe instead of complaining, be fucking grateful for once. Sine poptarts are for babies, you'll do without" Pablo growls.

"But-"

"But NOTHING! I'd suggest you shut up." The entire apartment is dead silent. Milo turns around and heads back to our room. I swallow hard. 

"Hey Jonah?" Chloe questions lightly. 

"Hmm?" 

"Don't you need to change for school?" 

I look down and remember I'm still in my pj's. 

"Yeah" I attempt to chuckle "I suppose you're right." Chloe smiles at me and hands me the outfit I've picked out. I nod and smile back at her and make my way to our bathroom. Our apartment is small anyway, but the smallest room by far is the bathroom designated to my siblings and I. There's a bigger bathroom in our apartment, but only Pablo, Lorena and my mom were allowed to use it. 

I pull off my gray sweatpants and boxers, tossing them in the clothes basket. I take a deep breath and close my eyes a moment. I hate being so on edge all the time. I understand Milo is smart mouthed, but Pablo just does not know how to be sympathetic at all. I'm surprised Milo has the courage to even respond to him; all jokes aside, Pablo is intimidating, even to me. Even though I stand taller than him, Pablo could easily take my down. He is a vicious man. He moved here from Mexico illegally. My mom found him on some dating website, and he suckered her into marrying him just a few months later. I don't know if my mom loves him or the drugs he provides, but whatever it is, it's made their marriage last two years now. He treats Lorena like a princess, which is good since her mom isn't in the picture. Anymore, Pablo's relationship with mom is just, well, sad. He will yell at her and beat her, then buy her some coke to apologize. Once she's high out of her mind, the two have "make-up sex", and then pass out; the cycle is daily, and mom just tolerates it. 

Knocking on the door snaps me out of my thoughts. 

"Hurry up, I need to go" Savannah complains. 

"Y-Yeah, give me just a second" I stammer, pulling on some black boxers and black jeans. I toss my Tupac shirt and put on the Nike hoodie and the green and black Nike's I had out already. I unlock and open the door. 

"Geeze, you took forever" Savannah rolls her eyes. 

"Yeah, yeah" I half smile, jokingly pushing her shoulder. I look at my phone to see it's not even ten minutes until the bus is supposed to be here. 

"Milo, let's go" I knock on his door. His door opens, and he glares at me. Savannah and Chloe are already at our apartment door. Milo drags his feet as he walks. Lorena gets to be driven to school while all four of us have to ride a disgusting, beaten down bus. The sad thing is that I have my license, but I'm too poor to afford a car. I can't get a job because I don't have transportation, so it's an endless cycle of annoying. 

The four of us walk down the creaky complex stairs. I made my way to the back of the bus. Chloe and Savannah always sit together near the front, while Milo pushes himself next to the window near the middle of the bus. Chloe and Savannah always sit together near the front, while Milo pushes himself next to the window near the middle of the bus. I sit alone in the second to last seat from the back and put in my earbuds. I shuffle the songs on my phone. DNA by Kendrick Lamar begins blasting. I nod my head to the music. Kendrick Lamar used to be my brother and I's jam; and I don't mean Milo. I had an older brother, Trey, who I used to be super close with. 

Trey was 19 when he mysteriously died. 

I was 14. 

Mom sent Trey to the corner store to pick up a few things, and he agreed hesitantly. Mom got mad at him, and the argument progressed. Honestly, that was the only time I had ever truly seen Trey mad. As he left that night in November, he told mom and I that he loved us. I told him I loved him without hesitation, but mom didn't say anything. That was the last words we ever said to each other. That was the second to last time I seen him; the last time was when he was in a casket. I can't get the final view of Trey out of my head. When he was alive, he was constantly smiling. The final look on his face could only be described as pure fear. 

No one will tell me what actually happened to my brother. All I've heard is he "mysteriously died". Everyone in town was tense after he died. A lot of people assumed that he was killed by police. I mean, when a black man gets killed in the middle of the night and the police force is mostly white, people begin to speculate. I mean, with who's president and all the police brutality, it wouldn't have been all that surprising; not to mention the fact that we do live in the South.

I shake the thoughts out of my head. I can't think too hard on that type of stuff or I'll get mad. Trey was easy going like my dad, while I got the fiery temper from my mom. My heart pounds hard against my chest. I take a deep breath and turn off my music. The bus pulls up to the elementary school and stops. I watch Chloe and Savannah wave at me as they get off. Closing my eyes, I begin trying to think positively. I remember the motto I've had since I was fourteen: 

"Keep smiling for Trey."