Adopted by CNCO

The next today

Song above
I wake lock my door and go to the bathroom. I get my phone and play lost in the moment by NF on repeat. I then I get my photo album of my family and look through it. I find one of Emma sitting next to flowers and is holding balloons in her right hand and blowing kisses. She had just turn to. Tomorrow she would have been 4 years old.

Then I hear someone knock on the door. "Who is it"
"It is me Erick" he says
"What did I tell you yesterday" I say
" I know but I didn't say ur name I just want to see you" he says
"I told you you can't come in my room or even see me now leave" I say
"Just want one kiss" he says
"No" I say
"Pls" he says
"Does it mean you will leave me alone" i ask
"Yeah" he says
"Ok" I say and open the door kiss him and then separate from him and close the door and lock it.
"Hey" he says
"Uh you have to leave me alone remember" I say
"Ok" he says and I hear him walk away. Then I continue to look through pictures. Then I find one of my brother when he turned 6 he would be 8. But I am stuck in a time where they are gone and there is nothing to do about it. I sit on my bed for like 2 hours. My stomach growls but ignore it because they aren't eating anything today.

Then I find some pictures of there wedding and I look at it and cry wishing they were here. I then get a bottle of water and drink it. I then look at pictures of my family together. I see how we are all smiling. Then I find some of when my dad died and we where less happy. Then I find one of me and my siblings after my mom died and we are faking a smile just for the picture.

I then find one of me alone by myself alone after every one that I really cared about was gone. It was crumpled because I always crumble the picture and throw it.I looked sad and didn't even try to fake a smile I just look at the camera with a big frown and my eyes are watery. Then I stop and grab the picture and crumple the picture and throw it at the window.

I then throw my head down on the pillow and sob. I would scream into the pillow. I then grabbed  the photo album and throw it across the room. A picture slips out and I grab it and look at it. It is a picture of my full family last Christmas. We were laughing and we all where looking at each other because Emma screaming because she couldn't find her favorite stuff animal.
Then in the back it had a poem I wrote on the back saying

Life is like a game
Making bad choices
Give bad results in time
Making good choices
Give good results in time
But losing your stuff animal
Is the worst results
You could get

{actually made this}
I laugh and look at the picture. Then I go throw a note book saying poems and has songs I made for my siblings. One that was there favorite has the Bernie the dinosaur beat it was

I love you
Don't forget
When you sleep and
When you wake
Everything will be
A okay
Just you wait

{also actually made this}
I would sing it to them when they where crying or sad. They would sing it with me. Only me and them could sing it. No one was aloud to sing it. I cried myself  to sleep singing that song when they where all gone.