"You don't have to walk me home you know? I can still manage as much" Nagisa had insisted he'd go with him when they left the studio.
"Why do you say it like that Mako-chan? You could just say "thanks for being such a good friend" like a normal person would"
"Was that an impersonation of me? Please don't go into voice acting" Makoto said with a smile, he was really thankful for Nagisa being there, even if he didn't say it all the time.
"Whatever, I just want to make sure you don't get hit by a truck while you're all moping around... plus I need to use your bathroom"
"Why didn't you go at the studio?"
"BECAUSE... I forgot" Nagisa added with a chuckle and Makoto sighed but smiled anyway.
His apartment was still a mess, not that he expected it to have gotten magically clean while he was away but being away made him realize just how bad it was. He flopped on the bed as Nagisa used the toilet. He had put a kettle to make some tea, he at least still remembered how to be a good host even if he didn't remember how to pick a broom or wash his clothes.
He didn't feel like standing up though, he felt tired and stupid.
He closed his eyes and he just... tried not to think of all the things his brain was feeding him, but try as he may it was a fight he was doomed to lose. And so his backstabbing mind, proceeded to display the earlier events one by one for him to dissect and discover just another fantastic way in which he had fucked things up.
Soon he was not only remembering the way a third of the blood in his body decided to camp on his face, but how Haru had seen that, and how he had no other explanation for it than "Well you see Haru, you were... looking good"
And don't forget when you told him that he moving away felt like a break up Makoto! Adding the detail of how you cried for weeks was very needed yes, that's never an awkward thing to say to someone you haven't seen over a decade. But don't worry! It was only a chance you have been waiting for since you couldn't spot the backside of that train no more, which by the way is not weird at all, it's perfectly normal to never move on from a childhood friendship
"Makoto... Makoto!" Nagisa's voice brought him back to reality and just then did he notice the whistle of the kettle angrily demanding for attention.
Crap
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" He rose with a jump and ran to the small corner that signaled the kitchen. As he proceeded to pour the water and tried not think of how a god damn substance now reminded him Haruka , Nagisa came into view.
"Are you ok?" The unusual lack of excessive volume in his friends voice took him by surprise and the automatic "I'm fine" was suddenly stuck in his throat.
"I don't know" He frowned, his friend frowned and they both listened to sound of the tea bags bouncing in the water until Nagisa finally spoke.
"Nothing lasts forever Mako" the lack of chan made him grimace. "Not even identity crisis"
"You think I'm having an identity crisis?" That was something that took him aback; he was just coming out of a break up, and since when Nagisa spoke so seriously?
"Well I've never seen you like this, and no offense but she wasn't the love of your life or anything like that, and you never got like this after a break up, I think it's something else" His friend took his cup and looked around for a seat, since every surface was overflowing with things he settled to lean on the counter and gave Makoto a serious look. It was starting to freak him out.
"You're not like this Mako, no matter how ugly things get you always bounce back! You never feel discouraged and you never get this insecure! I think..." Nagisa bit his lip and Makoto could tell he was unsure of whether to continue or not so he nodded in encouragement
"I know you probably don't need more to think right now, but, I think you might have reached your limit" At seeing Makoto's confused faced he gestured to his head "You know your limit? When you have had it? When you can't just smile and be nice and pretend nothing is wrong? Pretend it's ok if no one ever gives you something back, I think you're doubting your whole approach on life and that's why you're... like this"
"I think you're overreacting a little" Nagisa sighed at that.
"Ok Mako-chan I won't say anything else, but you know, you can't always hide behind a smile"
"I'm not smiling right now Nagisa, I'm not pretending to be happy" He didn't really understand where Nagisa was coming from. He was telling him that there was something wrong with him because he wasn't his usual smiley self yet he was telling him not to smile?
"Yes, because you're with me" he gave a sad smile and it just felt completely wrong on Nagisa's face "Look, never mind Mako-chan! You must be tired, you should rest go go! Take a nap" And just like that he was back to his usual self, shooing him to the bed.
"But what.. you're still here! What? Nagisa!"
"Don't mind me mako-chan! Come on aren't you sleepy?"
"DID YOU PUT SOMETHING ON MY TEA AGAIN?"
"Come on Mako-chan! I wouldn't drug you... again!" He added with a devilish smirk "it was just a long day and I know you're dying for me to leave so you can brood about Haru-chan, and as your friend I can't allow you to do that so I won't go until you're snoring"
"that's not... "
"what? true?"
"And Haru-chan?! Really?"
"That still surprises you? Really?" Ugh, he wasn't winning this. He should just accept Nagisa's weird way of helping him and give in like he always did, why did he still bother putting up a fight?
"Ok fine... thanks" He headed to his bed defeated as Nagisa tried to vacate a chair to make himself comfortable.
"And no fake snores Mako-chan! I can tell the difference"
"That's kinda creepy Nagisa"
"Rei does it all the time to try and get away from sex"
"I DON'T WANNA KNOW ABOUT THAT!"
He must have fallen been asleep in no time because the next thing he knew he was coming back from a dreamless state lured by the smell of something utterly delicious... and were those munching sounds?
"Good morning Mako-chan!" Nagisa said in between giant pizza bites, seemingly unaware that it was dark out.
"What time is it?" He must have slept too long.
"Late, but here grab a piece of pizza now or regret it later" Makoto eyed the already empty container and the half eaten one and hurried before the tyrannosaur rex in his living room proceeded to devour it... container and all.
But doing so he noticed there were something slightly out of place and that was... there was nothing out of place.
"YOU CLEANED MY ROOM?" Maybe his reaction was a bit exaggerated but so was the notion of Nagisa cleaning
"I just couldn't stand it anymore, even I have a limit... by the way it's ok to say thanks Mako-chan" The blond continued eating as if it wasn't a big deal.
"Buy you don't clean"
