Freddie
"Okay, so you all remember the plan?" Stealing a few needles and a few bottles of estrogen from a pharmacy should be really fucking easy; I only need to grab as much as my pockets can carry. Which is saying a lot; I made sure to wear my pants with the extra pockets. Deaky and Brian nodded vigorously and we turned to Rogerina on the couch of my living room. "Okay, we'll be an hour or so, uhh... there's food in the fridge. Don't drink all my liquor, and no parties," I wagged my finger at her for emphasis.
She smirked at my statement. "Okay Mum, do you want me to do my chores too?" "Smartass. Also, Jim is visiting his parents you don't need to worry about him walking on you. See ya," I waved my hand as I locked the door.
As Brian drove to the pharmacy, I couldn't help but wonder what shows would be like from now on. What conventions would be like, now that our band member is a girl. "Guys, can I ask something?" I took my head from the window and looked at Brian and Deaky in the front seat. "What is it, Fred?" Brian glanced in the rear-view, and the bassist turned to show he was listening. "What's going to happen in the future? I mean, changing for our concerts, interviews and such? It's going to be weird, no offense, with Rog with us. Will she still be able to change with us, or could we be like Peeping Toms?"
John chuckled from the front seat. "Well, she hasn't physically transformed yet and-"
"Deaks, she isn't Optimus Prime. It's called transitioning," Brian corrected the man. "Fine. She hasn't physically transitioned yet, so we don't have any problems yet. If she wants to still change with us after the fact, then I guess we just look at the ceiling or at the wall. I doubt she will want to change with a bunch of boys, though, so we can arrange for a private dressing room, just for her. That answer your questions?" I slumped back. "Yeah.." I mumble, looking back out of the window. I'm not against transgender people, I support them fully.
It's just slightly different when it's your best friend since the 60s.
"Alrighty guys, now that we're here, Operation Female is in motion. Thunder cats are GO!" We hopped out of the vehicle and kept the engine going, so we can make a quick getaway. Brian's supposed to ask the pharm tech a bunch of questions about medicine for women. As in, their monthly bloody ritual.
I dropped before the guy could see me and crawled below the counter to the entrance to the back of the place. John sat in the waiting chair; if the guy comes behind towards me, he'll whistle 'Somebody To Love' and I'll leave.
"Excuse me sir, I have a couple questions about this cramp medicine for my wife..." John gave me the thumbs up and I snuck in. Now that I was back here, it was a lot messier than one would think. I scanned the shelves and various bottles until I found the hormone section, muttering the names under my breath. "Insulin... testosterone... estrogen!" I grabbed ten of the eleven bottles and then I turned to find the needles. I spotted them and was about to grab a few handfuls when I heard the familiar tune. Shit. That was my cue to GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE. I could hear the man's footsteps getting louder and I pulled my legs behind a case of needle and needle kits just in time. The guy looked at the top shelf for something, so I grabbed full handfuls in both hands and army-crawled to the washrooms.
As I waited for the opening music to end, all I could think about was if I was caught, we could all be arrested. Queen will break up, and it'll be my fault. And my best friend could never transition to female. I noticed that the whistling had stopped, so I flattened my pockets to look empty and walked out of the washroom. Brian was saying his thanks to the pharm tech and we were about to get up to leave when the guy stopped us. "Hey.. I don't remember you walking in." His eyes had gotten small and I had to think quick.
"You wouldn't; I had to use the washroom quite viciously and I ran in here so fast you wouldn't have seen me. Now that I think about it, I feel much better and even lighter than I had 10 minutes ago. You know how it is, one burrito and I explode just everywhere if I don't get to a toilet in time and-" The man held up his hand with red cheeks. "Okay, you had to poop. Sorry for any inconvenience, goodbye." He rushed back to his desk and we quickly left after that. I dove into the back seat while the other two hurled themselves round the front, with Deaky going Dukes of Hazaard and sliding on the hood.
As Brian pulled out of the parking lot, Deaky turned to me from shotgun (lucky bitch) laughing. "The emergency shit? Of ALL the covers to go with, you go with the 'I-had-to-shit-violently-so-I-ran-like-the-Flash'?" I shrugged my shoulder. "Hey! It made him uncomfortable and it worked, so I see that as a double win!" I pumped my fist into the air. I kind of enjoy making people uncomfortable and I'm quite good at it. The look on the man's face was priceless, though. It was almost worth embarrassing myself.
As I looked out the window, I imagined how Rog would react. Would she squeal and jump up and down, or would he- she pass out again? I didn't want to use any more garlic unnecessarily because Brian makes great pasta.
Wait til Rogerina saw our winnings.
