she never wanted to leave {theonsa}

spun away all her sorrow and pain

treat every moment that i spent with you,
i treasured it like it was precious jewels.
{marvin gaye, distant lover}

Sansa hadn't felt that much relief since she watched Myranda's body fall to the hard ground below, and to hear it's loud crack on impact. Or the relief when Lady Brienne of Tarth came galloping over on her horse to save her and Theon from Ramsay's men and hounds. She hoped to never feel the hopelessness she felt when Theon was leaving her, she had finally trusted someone for the first time in a long time, and he abandoned her. But she would always be grateful and never forget how he saved her.

She felt that relief when Theon returned to her. It was a weird type of relief, as if something she'd been waiting for her whole life finally happened and she needn't worry about it again. She had this sinking feeling that she'd never see Theon again after tonight, but she knew that couldn't be true. The one person who truly understood her was back, and he was here to stay this time, never to leave her alone. She felt foolish thinking these things, because after all, she is the woman she is today because of her self and her own personal strength, but without Theon she'd probably be dead. She still felt foolish, thinking all of these thoughts as Theon sat across from her, never taking his eyes off of her. She wanted to tell him how she was the one who, in the end, killed Ramsay, but she was unsure if her bringing up Ramsay would destroy the warm atmosphere.

She looked up at him, smiling. She hadn't felt this comfortable since the day she reunited with Jon. He grew shy, only for a moment, looking down at his soup then up at her, her gaze never never left his.

He swallowed his fears and finally said something. "How have you been?" He asked her. It felt stupid, asking such a generic question. But Sansa seemed strong, she definitely looked strong, and he wanted to know if she really was.

"The best I've been in a while." She replied, with a small shrug and grin.

Theon smiled, a genuine smile. "That's good, very good."

"Do you ever think about him? Robb, I mean." She asked him, clarifying that she's referring to Robb and not their abuser.

"Everyday, I think about him everyday. I wish he were still here, I wish they were all still here. I have so much to say to him, but I know he'd never forgive me. I betrayed him and I betrayed my family... and I got what I deserve for it. But I still don't... I don't... I still don't feel right about it. I deserved to be hurt from Robb, that's what I deserved. It would've only been right for him to hurt me, because I hurt him. But no, he had to die. I was the one who supposed to die, not him..." He started sobbing, he felt Reek returning. It was all coming back to him, everything he experienced with Ramsay. But Ramsay is dead, Theon thought to himself, he can't hurt me anymore. he can't hurt either of us.

"I think about him too." Sansa replied after a moment, unsure of what to say. "I think about him all the time. But Theon you must remember, Robb was never supposed to die, nevertheless you. Robb wouldn't even be mad at you anymore, if you apologized and explained yourself. Yes, he would be initially angry and definitely hold a grudge until he died, but he would have a level of understanding. And trust me, he would blame himself for his death, just as you blame yourself for everything. And you did deserve something for what you did for my family, and when I first saw you at Winterfell in those cages, I thought you got exactly what you deserved. I hate myself now for thinking those thoughts. But then I was married to Ramsay, and I understood that you didn't deserve what he did to you. But Theon, you must not return to Reek. You've grown from him, and you've never been him. You've always been Theon Greyjoy. Never Reek."

Theon looked up at her, his eyes wide and unbelieving. There was no way to respond, but he then realized he'd been looking for a moment too long. She furrowed her brows then giggled at him, "Theon you look like you've seen a ghost!"

He chuckled, and they sat together laughing to each other.

***

Later in the night, after they'd finished their soup, Sansa lay with her head in Theon's lap. They had shifted uncomfortably for a while, never finding a position that comforted both of them. It was weird to feel this intimate with someone, Sansa thought to herself. But I'm happy that person is Theon. She grinned at him, and he returned the smile.

They moved to a different position, still trying to find the most comfortable for both of them. Theon was stroking his hands through Sansa's hair as they lay across from each other. Sansa looked deeply into Theon's eyes, her eyebrows furrowed. He caressed his thumb on her brow, smoothing the crease. She closed her eyes to his touch.

"What's wrong?" He asked her.

"I'm worried for everyone. For you, Arya, Jon, Bran, the Northerners. It's all that's been on my mind, all day."

Theon frowned. "You'll just have to trust in us and believe in us, we will all survive. The Night King will perish, and his army with him."

Sansa sat up, "But how can you be so sure."

Theon looked her deeply in the eyes, "I'm not as sure as you think I am." He paused, "But I've made it all this way, we've all made it this far. Haven't we?" Sansa nodded. "I know we have the ability to make it farther. You just have to have the faith, even if you think our chance is impossible. Honestly, our chance of survival is impossible, I won't lie about that."

Sansa smirked, "Well that made me feel loads better."

Theon grinned before letting out a small chuckle.

Sansa let herself fall back into the laying position. "I wish we could just stay like this forever," she sighed, looking at the stone ceiling and listening to the footsteps and voices above.

Theon followed her back down. "As do I."

They lay and basked in each other's company, savoring the silence between them. Sansa found her hand trailing down to find Theon's, tracing his fingertips with her own before their fingers intertwined. He squeezed hard, giving Sansa a fleeting feeling of reassurance. The warmth of his hand absorbed into Sansa's hand and crept along the rest of her body, making her heart flutter. She turned over to look at Theon, who was still looking at the ceiling. He turned his head to face her, his lips slightly parting at her magnificent beauty. Her eyes were lit by the torches and the electricity she felt in her heart.

Before they could act on the heat of the moment, there were loud pounds on the door. Sansa unwillingly let go of Theon's hand and stood to open the door. Standing there was one of the Northerners.

"Lady Sansa, the preparations are almost through."

Sansa took a deep breath, "I'll be there immediately, thank you."

The Northerner nodded his head before walked down the corridor. Sansa turned around to find Theon standing beside the bed.

"It's probably best that I'd get going now," he said, sadness creeping into his voice.

Sansa walked over and embraced him, squeezing him as hard as she could. She pulled away after a moment and looked him in the eyes.

"Please, come back to me. When this is all over you have to promise me that's you'll come back." She pleaded with him.

"I never left." He paused for a moment, lingering so he didn't have to leave yet. "But I will come back." Theon hugged her again, took her hand and squeezed it, and finally kissing her hand before he left the room.

Sansa watched him leave and silently prayed for his safety.