LOST

Prologue

"I was never been a good option. Until I'm
lost." - Janice

I have this kind of moment that when I wanted something, they will always say "maybe next time, you can have that. But before that, do this, do that, do those." Like, Am I a robot to for you to control me? I also have my own life, though, you're the one who made me. Is it an enough reason for you to rule over me? I don't think so. But my body move otherwise. My mind is not connected with my body thats why I'm always controlled. It's like they both have different life having the same body.

I was never been a good option. Because I have my sister to the first. And the best. She have the brain and stuffs that my parents always wanted. I'am the controlled one, she is a free-fish who can go with her amigas anytime she wanted. Me? On the bed, doing papers for the company with a coffee beside me. Only because, she has the brain so she can get what she wish. Opposite on me.

And there goes my brother. With his amigos. Older than my sister. I don't even know why he's not controlled. A hard-headed man full of girls. Cassanova to be exact. Every girls dream who drolls their saliva over him. Wearing khaki short at beach t-shirts while me, my eye glass on and computer on my table, typing something for the work. And he is in the same level as my sister. With their brains and being at the first priority. We're not close, so as my sister. They judge me with my failures, do I have one? Oh yeah, being at the second. Even if I'am at the first at school, in my parents guts? Second. Or maybe, I'm just nothing. Cause when the both of them are present in the house? I'm being shooed away. Maybe they are still happy without my presence.

But why do my body moves otherwise? I don't like to be with them. Being judge by your family is different from other unknown people. More painful. More tears. How I wish this body of mine do what my mind says.

Until I'm lost. And I don't know why I'm lost. Maybe, finding my lost self is the hardest. But it is the best way for me to survive this shits, I think?

***

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