Zemnian Nights

~+ Chapter Twenty-Five +~

She was in the process of putting the newly finished cushions on the chairs in her sitting room when he cleared his throat in the doorway, causing her to turn and regard him. He felt perturbed and uncomfortable, and he knew it showed the moment she spoke.

"Good evening, My Lord, is all well with you?" Concern knitting her brow.

"No. Well, I'm fine, yes. I just wanted to thank you for what you did. The..." he gestured over his shoulder faintly. "The garden I mean. It's beautiful."

"Thank you, My Lord. I am glad it pleases you."

"That is, to some degree, my point. It does. But it's not all that does. You are a good wife, Renata. I am glad you are mine." He still seemed quite uncomfortable.

"My Lord, you are kind to say so." She set the last cushion into place and surveyed the room. "You will have your armory back by week's end it seems." Seeking to change the subject away from what seemed to be giving him strain.

He sighed under his breath. "I came to say something, please, just let me say it." His hands tucked behind him at the small of his back, one hand wrapping around the other arm's wrist, his shoulders back and his chin up. "My father never gave the proper respect to his wife. I want to always be grateful for what you do to please me, but I also do not want you to feel there is only approval for you when you please me. You are often equally worthy of praise for being displeasing. If you had not gone against my command about the garden..." He shook his head a bit, feeling off-footed and thick-tongued. "Just keep doing what you believe to be good for me even if I do not like it." He summarized quickly and nodded once.

"Of course, My Lord." She gave a polite bow of her head, letting her eyes drag slowly up along him from boots to blues as she lifted it. A shiver raced up his back when her eyes caressed his own. "Pleasing you will always be my goal, even if you do not see it plainly at first."

He felt a pang of desire, though she had not betrayed herself in any way but the study of him. No leer, no wink, no hint that she was anything but innocent as a newly born lamb. Several breaths were pulled in through his nostrils, his lips in a firm line as he held her gaze without flinching away. He crossed the room in three strides and clasped both hands around her head, holding her in place as his head bowed, kissing her deeply. She kissed him back, his ravenous tongue seeking to taste every contour of her warm mouth while she was all softness and acceptance.

He felt her hands wind around his wrists and he growled like a hound hoarding a bone. A threat to not interfere, but her fingers only laid there, petting over his pulse as if to soothe him. Every part of him ached and throbbed, his mind feeling fuzzy and distant from his body's scream to possess her. He broke the kiss, lips parting only enough to drag rough breaths through clenched teeth. "You are courting danger, My Lady." Her hands at his wrists tightened and he let his hands fall to the smooth and unblemished line of her throat. "I think I have been too gentle with you of late. You forget that I have darkness inside of me. You have tried so very hard to purge me of it but it is a stain that will never be gone." He pulled back enough to open his eyes and look down at her flushed face, his hand spanning her throat with firm fingers and a gentle pressure that would do her no harm. It made his blood boil to feel the swift rush of her pulse, the undulation of nervous swallowing, quiet and quick breaths echoing in the room.

"Close your eyes and keep your hands at your side. Do not move, do not speak. Do not make those little coos of yours, mein täubchen. Be still for my sake."

He watched her arms drop, her body tense, her eyes closed. She trusted him. Every fiber in him wanted to have her then and there, but with the last shreds of his decency, he stepped back once, then again, turning and stalking out, the door shut tight between them. Would she never be safe from him? Would he always look at her as if she were a baby bunny wrapped in bacon and he the ravenous wolf? Safe in his room, he dropped into his chair and buried his face in his hands.