The legends of the duo-disasters

The legend of the duo-disasters: Amber's story

Once there was a girl called Amber. She was in a band and had a lot of responsibilities as a band member. One thing she did though, was she went on her phone a lot. Next Monday would be her Spanish test that she hadn't revised for. What could she do??? People had been talking about duolingo. And app that could help teach you a variety of different languages in short time. "Let's give it a try then" said Amber....not knowing her mistake. She downloaded said app that afternoon after band practice??? Idk. On the first day it worked pretty well. She had a lotta fun. She allowed duolingo to send her helpful reminders for when to take her lessons. How foolish. How naive she was....thinking that a silly notification from just a languages app could be ignored without any further consequences... day after day, Amber ignored said messages. Duo eventually got angry and threatened her. Amber, fearing her life, turned off notifications. Oh nononono. Even more foolish!. Duo gasped in shock "NO ENTIENDO!, (I don't understand in Spanish) WHAT IS THIS TOM FOOLERY?!?' Duo was distraught, betrayed by his own best friend for like a day. But. Duo took time to relax, recalibrate and just breathe from the whole situation. Duo thought that maybe in a few days, Amber would come back to him and learn more Spanish. Day after day, duo checked to see if Amber had been learning her Spanish but alas, she had not been active for days upon days. But duo made a vow to be calm as he could not deal with the stress of another abuse accusation.

<a few weeks later>
30th of April: 2019
Duo had been feeling lonely since his new friend had forgotten about him. So, as most lonely people do (not calling anyone out here, soz m8s) he went on tinder to find someone. And so he did, only five miles away too!. AND SHE KNEW FUCKING SPANISH!!!. They went on a few dates and over time, they began to get more comfortable with each other. Eventually, duo thought he would surprise her with some lingerie. And he did!. They had a make out session (not very good, they're both birds like damn that must be hard) but alas, duo was still haunted of Ambers disappearance. He began to get angry and had to interrupt the make out session to go confront her. He knew where she lives, he knows where everyone lives. Why, of course. He's duolingo owl of course! He knows everything. He picked up his bat and charged out the door with his black leather lingerie on in the pouring rain. The lengths duo had to go to confront Amber was friggin insane mate, not gonna lie. He got to her house, soaking, rain dripping off his leather pantsuit thingy (????) he bust down Amber's front door, with the power of a million raging suns in his eyes and a burning flame in his heart, he hit his bat against his hand in aggressive motion, turning to her bedroom door. "YOU FORGOT YOUR SPANISH LESSONS, AMBER. HOW ABOUT YOU BEG FOR YOUR LIFE IN SPANISH, OH WAIT, YOU HAVENT BEEN DOING YOUR LESSONS" duo shouted as he hit the bat against his hand against his hand again. Amber cowered in fear. Trembling at the sight of the drenched, psychotic duolingo owl standing at her door frame. An evil smile grew on his face and his eyes turned red like an embarrassed chameleon. However, amber had an idea!. Order that dude an Uber under his name and once he checks his phone in confusion, hit him vigorously in the stomach and run!. 3 mins later, duo gets a notification saying that his Uber is here, he checks his phone in utter confusion, while doing so, Amber took the bat out of duo's hand and hit him repeatedly in the stomach til she winded him completely. While duo was unconscious, Amber dragged him outside to the Uber and explained he was drunk. And to take him back to his house (75 Leicester street square). And he did. That was the last time duo would see of Amber because he was too scared to go back, as she still kept hold of his bat. Amber was safe. Her neighbourhood was safe. It was a happy ending.

The end. Byeeeeee