Love Her Madly | Eddie Vedder

nine: bad luck

tw: marijuana use

The universe likes to stomp me when I'm down. It's not an unusual occurrence, my luck is good for a while but always turns sour. Though being born under a bad sign is to blame, I will take responsibility. I am not dependable, I don't keep secrets well, and I find myself unable to follow a schedule. It all makes me seem like I'm perpetually sixteen years old. Immature and irresponsible. Always getting myself into bad situations.

"You get one phone call." The officer handed me a few quarters and pointed over to the phone outside of the cell. I'm stoned out of my mind, to the point where nothing feels real. Life feels a lot like a movie; or a painting. Maybe because things moved frame by frame. I tried to push the slow feeling to the back of my mind and walked over to the phone.

I stared at the brick wall that the phone was mounted on intently. I could only recall one number and no name with it.

"Shit or get off the pot, sweetheart." The officer spoke impatiently. He was a stout man, round in the middle and pink like a peach. I looked up at him, his face red like a stop sign. He breathed out heavily. He had arrested me once before when I was a teenager. My grandmother caught me with drugs and could barely look at me afterwards.

I looked back up at the phone, the slow feeling from the marijuana still hitting me hard. I dialed the numbers, hoping they were Ivan's. The phone began ringing and I picked at my nail beds, holding the phone between my ear and shoulder.

"Hello?" A slightly groggy voice answers. I instantly recognized the voice, a wave of relief washed over me. He has that strange affect on me. It feels like everything is gonna be okay, even if it's not.

"Hey it's Lily." I said in the receiver.

"Why are you calling me?" The groggy voice replied.

"Listen man, I'm in a little bit of trouble right now and I could really, really use some help right now man."

"What kind of trouble?" He asked, his voice perking up a little.

"I just need someone to come get me from the pigs." I looked up at the cop as I spoke, I smiled at him. He just continued to frown.

"The pigs? Are you alright, Lily?" Confusion filled his voice.

"The coppers, you know? I need someone to come and bail me out."

"Okay-," he sighed defeated. "Okay, I'm on my way. Just try not to do anything stupid until I get there."

"Do something incredibly stupid? Gotcha." I joked.

He sighed again "Just sit tight, okay?"

"Okay." I spoke sweetly, playing with the phone chord.

"And quit being a smart-ass!" He hung up the phone and I was walked back to the holding cell. Every time I moved it felt like a wave crashing

I sat back down in the cell and looked down at the dirty cement floor. I knew I would regret calling him, but my thoughts are racing hard and I'm starting to get nervous. My began shaking my leg and picking at my nail beds.

Time seemed to stand still. It didn't feel like real life. I rubbed my eyes until I was seeing spots. It felt like an eternity before he walked into the station. Him and the officer talked and I saw him signing papers up at the officer's desk. I couldn't help but feel guilty that I dragged him out of bed at this hour. The officer walked over to the cell and unlocked the door.

"This is your last warning, next they'll lock you up and throw away the key." He opened the cell and I walked out. "You know the drill," he sighed. "In a few weeks you'll get a letter with your court date. You will either be dismissed, put on parole, or serve a short sentence. Got it?"