Song Fiction KHH/KRnB

Instagram

I suggest you read this story while listening to Dean - Instagram.

Enjoy it! Comfort yourself.

___________________________

"Naeiri ol geol aneunde
nan haendeuponeul nochi motae
jameun ol saenggagi eopttae Yeah
dashi Instagram Instagram hane..."

It's already midnight and 14th of May will end soon but still can't sleep. Yeah, sleep just isn't coming to me, I'm fucked. I still on my phone, just staring, scrolling your timeline and don't know what to do. I see so many tags of you to congrats your birthday and give you a wish, even seeing your birthday surprise from your best friend. You look so happy in every snap and post that your friends take, it's obvious to see how happy you are when you show your bright smile, beautiful. I do refresh your timeline to see if any update of post or snap about you, I do miss you. Sometimes I open DM that I may send you a birthday wishes or not but till this midnight no one single word I dare send to you.

I realise something, there's no single photo of us in your timeline. Probably you delete all photo related of me? Meanwhile, in here, I never forget about you. Like how the way you look at that night. With teary eyes and a beautiful smile, you said "thank you". I remember how happy you are with my little surprise, even just gave you nice dining then have stargazing, you look like the happiest person of the year. But, it was last year, your last year birthday, one year ago before we broke up.

"...gamyeon gal surok
neomu eoryeoweo
naman ireon geonji..."

I'm sorry that I made a mess on our relationship, I got bored with you and playing with fire. I don't know that it's just a moment of bored. I need a few weeks to realize what am I doing. My room feels so empty without you around. I'm getting sick and cursing my self for losing you. I just realize how can I live my life without you. Without you who always support me, who always stay till late at night to accompany me doing my work, who always by my side whenever I need you. You're my girlfriend, my mom, my sister and my friend back then, you could be anyone for me, but I lose you and you leave me. I really want you to come back to me but you never go back, never want to. Even I begging you, begging on your mercy, but no. Never take the same eyes on me and just said, "You know a heart is like glass. You dropped once, broken forever. Even if you put them back together, it never ever be the same".

All I have done to bring you came back to me only make our relationship getting worse. You with all your efforts try to avoid me, really cut off ties of ours even blocked of your life. My heart was scattered, a lot. I cried every night and opened my eyes with dark circle eyes, they glistened with unshed tears, round in my pale and stricken face in the morning. I have no one to share my burden since all my suppose-to-be friends said that I was a stupid asshole and leave me. Yeah, I'm alone since then, lonely.

"...gamyeon gal surok
neomu eoryeoweo
naman ireon geonji..."

Tears breakout whenever I see you live your fine life without me. It's hurtful to know that you're just fine without me. My life is going nowhere but around you. I tore away from clubbing since I have no one, I've done watching a movie and else. I just end up in my neighbourhood, doing my routine alone since then. I can't move on even an inch away. I do love you this much, but you don't, no longer.

"...bujireopshi
ollyeo noeun sajin
dwie garyeojin nae maeumeul
aneun i eomne
nan tto he meine
jeo Instagram sogeseo..."

Recently I upload photos to my Instagram account. There are three monochrome photos, first is a hall, second is a flower, and last is a half-empty pizza on box with the caption "it looks so unwanted", and no one gets what I mean, mostly everyone leave a comment with joke, there's comment who said that out of the box like I have good photos and else. I really don't care what people see about my post but you, cause I used to upload that for you. I'm sure you get what I mean when you like my photos, but why you don't notice me? Something that people don't realize is a hall use to be placed when I confess to you, with a flower I begging your heart to be mine, then we go to pizza restaurant after you gave your heart to me. I need you to notice me, how I wish to get you to be mine again, but no.

"...geurae neoneun yojeum eottae
jam mot janeun geon yeojeonhae
jareun danbari cham yeppeudeonde
joayoneun an nulleosseo
jogeum utgingeot gataseo..."

I fell into those memories again, I'm really fucked, right? It's already 11.30 p.m when I do refreshing your timeline. I see you recently update a post of you holding your birthday cake with a bright smile. And there's something different about you with a recent tag of your friend's snap and post, that was you have a haircut. I think you have it in the evening at your usual place? Or you change it to another place? You look cute tho with that short hair and still pretty as always, I smile ear-to-ear like a crazy while seeing this. But all of it I didn't press like, cause it just seems a bit funny when in the middle of the night an ex give a like on your photos right? Rather than like your post, with my all bravery, I sent you DM about birthday wish and how you look so pretty in your new hairstyle with all of my life like depending on it. I'm worrying you will not answer it when I know you will not answer it, but better try than regret tho. I'm waiting for your answer like a crazy bastard, wait till dusk come, then I realize what and to whom I am doing. So I give up about your answer and get sleep. I never know that you have answered my DM with "thank you" cause I will never see that. Yeah, I just died, overdosed by alcohol and antidepressants and no one knows cause I am alone. Bye world.

"...ttururuttu ttururuttu
ttururuttu ttururuttu
All night
geureoke shigan nangbireul hane
ni Instagram sogeseo"

-The End-