What's Your Name?

Chapter 1: Peg + Cat

I had a little less than a month until it was time for graduation. I was ecstatic, yes, but on the other hand, I was scared out of my mind. What was I going to do after I graduated? I had finally picked out my dream college—even got accepted—but I was still at a loss on what my life would be like after I walked across that stage.

I walked into Mr. Pimmit's room and sat on one of his desks; however, he stayed quiet, busy typing something. I tapped my nails on the desks and twisted my mouth about.

"So..." Pimmit snapped his face to me for a second, recognizing that I was in his presence. "I'm about to graduate."

He turned towards me fully, leaning in his chair and resting his arms at his sides. His face was soft and his smile stretched his lips. He reminded me of a clown: red cheeks and a natural urge to run away in fear when you see his face.

"Are you ready?" He chuckled and glanced at his computer. "I mean, you've been waiting for this for twelve years."

I shrugged my shoulders, unsure if I was ready. His phone buzzed and a text message popped up. I felt a twinge of jealousy come about me as he picked his phone up to answer it.

"If you aren't ready, Victoria, that's okay too. You're so damn smart, you can choose to go to college at 76 and they'll still accept you. If you don't have Alzheimer's, that is."

I smiled and shook my head. 

"Mr. Pimmit, I feel as if I'm not enough. I feel like no matter how many achievements I get, no matter how high my grades are, no matter the circumstances, I just...don't feel adequate."

His eyes were glued to his phone. It looked weirdly small in his hands, the speckled pink of his hands caged around the case of the phone. 

"Well, Ms. Logan, you're not perfect, nor will you ever be."

Damn. Okay.

"But when I say that, I mean that you shouldn't prance around acting like you're perfect. You shouldn't strive for perfection with the goal of reaching it."

I silently waited for him to finish, for it sounded as if he cut himself off prematurely. When he looked me in my eyes and said nothing I took that as a cue to respond.

"Perfection? Don't strive—w-what do you mean? Huh?" I stand up off the desk and step up to his desk. Bending my head down slightly, I drop my voice to a dangerous whisper. "I am one step away from one of the biggest stepping stones of my life—my life—and you want to sit here and give me a bullshit mini-speech about striving for perfection?"

I threw my hands in the air and stepped back. His face had gone straight and his eyes were wide with passion. He wasn't listening anymore—just waiting for his chance to respond.

"I'm supposed to be walking into a very prestige college in a little less than five months, and I'm undecided about my career. I have no idea how to go about everyday life, and yet, the world has decided that I should have complete control of my life now...when only a few weeks ago I was basically school property." I bit my lip and looked him in his face. I drew in every pore, every smile line, every twitch. My eyes went over the minute curvature of his lips, the way his ears stuck out from the side of his head, and even the wrinkles in his collar. "What the fuck is going to happen to me, Pimmit?"

I had deemed I was a mess. I had no words left to say. And when Pimmit got up to hug me, I embraced it. It was an ordinary hug, one you give to people who you cared for, but I stepped away quickly when I realized my situation.

I wanted to forget him, and I wanted him to forget me. Last minute feelings weren't in the plan.

When we separated he took in a deep breath and placed his hands on his hips. Looking at me as if I was a completed piece of woodwork he had just nailed the last screw to, he placed a hand on my shoulder.