SHORT STORIES (A life-changing one)

#ThePainOfLettingGo

#AnOpenLetterToMyOnc­­­eInALifetime

""THERE ARE THINGS THAT WE NEVER WANT TO LET GO, PEOPLE WE NEVER WANT TO LEAVE BEHIND BUT KEEP IN MIND THAT LETTING GO ISN'T THE END OF THE WORLD, ITS THE BEGINNING OF NEW LIFE""

How can you unloved someone if that someone is the reason behind your smile? I didnt thought that the person who brought me so much happiness yesterday will be the reason for my pain today. To the person I'm letting go.

Hey! How can I forget you if the memories we made together are killing me? When you came into my life, everything has change. My life had changed. Before you came I am the girl who cover my depression with a mask of smile.

Hiding my sadness with myself wishing that someone would notice and take away the pain inside me. Suddenly you came and you change everything. We shared laughters for how many months through chats.

We're not together physically for some reasons, yet our heart are tied together. Until we are having mutual understanding. I told you that Im not still ready for a relationship. I dont want to break my parents rule that I should finish first my studies before entering into a relationship. And yes, you respected my decision.

We patiently waited for each other. There's no need to hurry and we both believed that if its meant to be it will be. We stayed in that level, and we're happy together. We've been exchanging I love you's and sweetness. It felt like we are already committed to each other.

Everything went smooth not until, we've been exchanging one of our fb account and there I discover something which caught me off guard and broke my heart. I realized that exchanging account is not enough to get your loyalty. I decided to end up everything we have, thinking that it would end up all the pain that I've felt.

But I was wrong, my mind keep telling me to forget you but my heart refuses. 2 weeks had past and you chatted me and ask for a second chance and yes I ended up forgiving you. Its so amazing what love can do. We tried to put things back together hoping that this time it will work.

We are happy again, we had some fights but everything is under control. Everything went well but doubts are still running in my head. All are flashing back of how you fooled me before. And to end up my doubts I told you that I wanted to exchange our another fb account but you refused. By that I realized that you are still keeping secrets from me.

We got some trust issue because of your refusal for the reason that you don't want to lose me again. What a damn reason! You already lose me in that way. I trusted you but unlike before. I just forget about that issue because I don't want us to fight again and I admit that I really can't afford to lose you. But sometimes I can't avoid to feel worthless. You almost forget me when you find new happiness.

You can't even leave a very simple message that you are going to be busy not even thinking that I am waiting for you. No matter how busy I am, I always find time for you but you're not doing the same thing as much as I do. No matter how busy you are if you really love and care for me, you will find a way to make time for me, even a shortest chat message means a thousand words.

Then one day I wake up realizing how fool I am. Why should I tie myself on something that's yet unsure? Maybe I'm not that strong enough to hold on. But can you blame me? You once hurt me so why should I let myself be hurt again. I realized that you aren't still ready to open up everything to me. Refusing my offer is enough for me to know that you are still keeping secrets from me. I thought you've change. I thought you are loyal to me this time.

All I had were questions and a bunch of hypothesis and no answers. I felt some kind of fool like I had been played around with. I felt worthless like a piece of shit. You don't even get my point everytime Im telling you why I am hurt. And because of that we couldn't work things out.

Finally, I decided to let you go and end up everything between us, except friendship. I dont want it to be wasted. We are still friends but we both know that things will never be the same again. Do you think letting you go was just easy for me? No its not. It took courage and bravery. You know what the painful part? It's whenever I walk away you always let me go. I'm sorry if I'm not strong enough to hold on. I'm sorry for being too much not thinking that there are still no us. And maybe there will never be an us.

If you can't be loyal to me this time how much more if we are already in a relationship? If you really love me I would be enough, right? But maybe I was never been enough for you. Even for a short period of time, I could feel that you really love me. You never failed to show how much you love me. But sometimes love wasn't just enough. No dictionary nor terms can define how much I love you. But I think its the best for the both of us.

I'm giving you the chance to find someone who is better than me but never like me. My happy pill I was very thankful when you came into my life, I treasured and cherished all those moments with you. God granted my wish it is to feel how to be loved by someone you love and you are his instrument to make it happen.

THANK YOU. Thank you for making me happy even in a short period of time. Thank you for those late night conversation, good morning messages, how are you's and I love you's. Thank you for the future we once planned together. Indeed, you made my life more colorful and happier.

SORRY. Sorry if I failed to be the right person for you. Sorry if I couldn't be the person you wanted and sorry if I can't fulfill my promises. I'm done fighting for our love, for us. I'm done fighting alone. You know how much I love you, how much I wanted us to be forever. But fighting alone was never easy.

Loving alone is always painful. You know that you we're the one of my dreams. A dream that turned into a nightmare and heartache. Letting you go will never be easy but I have no choice but to accept the fact that the person I wanted to be my future was now belong with someone else. That someday you'll be waking up next to someone who isn't me. And that someday, you'll be someone's everything and that someone will become your everything.

My biggest fear had come that one day I will be waking up without your love. And now I have to accept that the chapter of you and me were done. I should turn now the page into another chapter, the chapter without you. We will live each others lives without you and me, and I would face every single day without you my love in my life with the pain of moving on. I can't do nothing but to sit in the corner reminiscing what we had before and the love we shared together.

Looking at you from a distance with a smile on your face and I need to accept that I'm no longer the reason behind that smile. How can I stop my tears from falling if my heart is aching and breaking. Breaking into pieces and I have no idea how to make it whole again, there is something missing, it's the part that you've taken.

In Gods perfect time I know I will be healed, not now but soon. Maybe between the two of us I'm just the one who was hurt. My happy pill,I promise to take care of myself, as you always wanted, but promise me also that you will do the same thing. I promise to smile again even though it hurts. Moving on isn't easy but I know I can.

Maybe we're meant to be together but not to be forever. Or maybe we are really meant to be but it's not the right time for us. When that right time comes and our path crossed again, I hope that I already have the courage to fight for our love and strong enough to take risk. It's hard to think that the person you expect to spend your lifetime with are no longer part of your life. I hope that you'll be happy and contented with the girl you have right now.

I hope that you'll find your happiness then I'll be happy even if your happiness means loneliness in me. Thank you for everything. You will always have a special place in my heart. We started with simple ""hi"" and ended up with painful ""goodbye"".I love you and I will always will. Now it's time for me to say goodbye. You are now free my love.

Wishing you happiness,

-The girl who's done fighting

Senior High School
HNVS