Those 4 Words

The Hurt

Well you know the drill. One day your happy and really getting the best out of one another but then the next day it's as if all of it was a lie. It was hard towards this point because of the new amount of distance between us. We weren't necessarily a physical relationship but sometimes it's hard not having them just to go cry on or cuddle up to. Anyways, we were happy I mean we hung out at my house a lot and we always laughed together and had the best of times. It was like the fairytales if you ask me. Even when we fought or had to confront one another it was always resolved in a matter of time.
11:48 pm, "Are you home yet?" I ask.
3:52 am, "Sorry baby, my sister just let me in the house" he responded.
"Why were you out so late? I've been worried sick. I've stayed up this long to make sure you're okay"
"Sorry I didn't mean to worry you. I just went out with the. boys then they found a party and well we went and it. just ended."
It was one of those times when I couldn't help but to feel defeated. To feel as if I wasn't as important to him as he was to me. I would always get this feeling when it happened. It was repeating itself a lot, the situation and the feeling. I've come to think this was one of the reasons he could've left.
He was a partier and drank a lot. Don't get me wrong he was twenty and then turned twenty one while. We were together. Anyways, he liked to go out with the guys almost every chance he got.  It didn't matter the day either. He'd go out Mondays or Wednesdays if that's when he got the chance. I brought it to attention once and well he said no to a couple nights but once I made the mistake of saying I felt better he went right back to it. I didn't say anything again because the it made him happy and I couldn't take that away from him. This was really the big problem we had was his drinking. Sometimes he'd control it but others it was as if he was at a college party his senior year.
2:15 pm, "Hey love, you need to wake up and get ready for work. Not that you should sleep this late any ways" I said.
3:00 pm, "Don't worry I'm up and will only be about 15 minutes late. I didn't mean to sleep in so long just a long night" he answered.
"That's bullshit. It wasn't a long night just admit you went out again and slept in and now you're hungover". I couldn't help myself it was as if he just pressed all my buttons.
"Woah chill out. I don't have to tell you every single time do I?"
"Fine don't tell me and next time I'll let you get so hungover that you miss work and the chance to see me today".
"But wait I'm sorry".
I ignored him. I knew he wasn't truly sorry and that he meant every word he said. It's not like I'm going to forget it or anything I mean how could I? Leaving me waiting up all night an stumbling through your door when it's late and then having the audacity to ask. If he needs to tell me?  I wasn't letting him just walk over me or. Try to disrespect me. I'm a strong women who doesn't let some "man" treat me that ay. Of course, I felt bad but I still wasn't apologizing for it.
These conversations happened a lot and was our main source of unhappiness. Our story gets better just wait.