Dissimulation

Chapter 1: Quietus

His glowing body became one with the clouds. It was painful to watch and she felt as if she was going to just die right there. He never knew. He never knew the secret that she had been hiding from him. She wanted to tell him and she would have after the defeat of Sin, but she never imagined that he would be gone. He was gone, because of her. She finally let go and let the tears pour out. Her guardians rushed to her side, trying to give her as much need support.

She appreciated their worry and comforting suggestions, but nothing could change the fact that she was alone. She just watched the man that she loved and cherish jump off the edge of an airship. He was gone and it was her fault. How could she go on like this? In her eyes she was a murderer. This was all too much to handle.

No matter how strong she was, she had carried a lot of emotional baggage throughout her own pilgrimage. Leaving the people she loved back in Besaid. The horror of Operation Mi'ihen. The wedding and death of her husband. Everything had caused her complete distress, but she remained strong. The only time she had ever cried was in front of him.

She had asked him to join her back in Kilika, because of his nature. He was one of the only ones that truly made her laugh. During this time, he was innocent and unaware of what her pilgrimage would bring. Lulu warned for these reasons, but she still wanted him nearby. This was the start of a love that would grow each day. Although the journey was difficult, he never failed to make her smile.

Now that aspect was gone. Instead of absolute bliss and happiness because peace has finally enveloped the land, the world was shaded with darkness. Once they landed, she would be surrounded by smiling faces. There would always be one missing from the crowd. The one smile and the one laugh that had the greatest impact of all.

She rubbed her eyes and felt hot bile begin to rise in her throat. She was able to swallow it down and turned to face her guardians. Everybody stared at her with worried looks. The pilgrimage was finally over and she looked like a completely new person. The journey definitely took a toll on her. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, but nothing covered the large bags underneath her eyes. She looked much older now.

She ignored their glares and began her way to the safety inside. The guardians followed her, silence enveloping all of them. They didn't know what else to say. The events that just had taken place were confusing to all, but Rikku and Kimahri. These two were the only ones who knew their secret relationship. Rikku, however, was the only one who knew about their sinful act.

Yuna's heavy feet guided her to the bridge, where she was greeted by her uncles arms. Yuna fell into them silently, enjoying the little warmth they gave. "You did it! You got rid of Sin!" his muffled voice said excitedly. He finally let go and inspected the crew. He immediately noticed that two were missing. "What happened to the antisocial guy and captain puberty?" The group remained silent, all their eyes pointing to the ground. They couldn't get themselves to say it. It was still a shock to all, especially to Yuna.

They all knew that he was going to disappear, but Yuna refused to accept it. Even when he began to fade away, she refused to believe that he was going to leave her. The event immediately began to replay in her mind. Tears began to fall again and she cursed herself for displaying emotion. All her life she had been taught to never show your emotions. Never let somebody see you cry. This was a sign of weakness and struggle. Yuna could not help herself, however.

Cid glanced at Yuna, noticing the tears running down her face. In horror, he tip toed over to Rikku. Rikku too, was crying. "What's going on with you and her?" Cid whispered. He knew this probably wasn't the time to be asking such questions, but he always had a strong sense of curiosity. It always got the best of him.