Dissimulation

Chapter 3: Abandoned

Yuna's soft eyes wondered to the stars above her. It was a peaceful night in the Calm Lands. A calm wind brushed against Yuna's relaxed form. It was the first time since they reached the Calm Lands that she was calm.

Tidus sat behind her, watching her form. He couldn't believe that the others had allowed him to accompany her on her usual alone periods. This was the first time the two have much less looked at each other since they entered the Calm Lands. Now, an awkward silence enveloped them. He shifted uncomfortably from his seat and tried to find words, but none came.

He wanted to tell him how painful it was for her to ignore him like she did. He knew it was probably for the best, because the last thing he wanted was the others to find out what had happened. The kiss in the spring was all so sudden and impulsive, but he couldn't lie, he felt something in that lake. It was a feeling that had escaped him a year before.

"It's peaceful out, isn't it," Yuna whispered, pulling Tidus out of his thoughtful haze.

"Huh, oh, yeah," Tidus answered awkwardly. She awkwardly turned around and faced him. A small smile adorned her lips, causing Tidus's heart to burn with pain. He wanted to hold her in his arms and taste her lips again. He wanted to confess his love for her, but he kept his mouth shut. He definitely didn't want to scare her.

"Is everything alright?" Yuna asked.

"Everything is perfect," Tidus lied. He stood up and stretched his arms, staring at the sky. He dared get lost in the simple beauty. Never in his life had he seen so many stars. Back at his home in Zanarkand, the lights covered up the stars at night. Only handfuls were able to break through the haze. Yuna stood up as well and stepped next to him.

"It seems like something is bothering you," Yuna insisted.

"I may seem absent-minded, but it's because I'm trying to figure out a way to save you," Tidus replied. The thought of Yuna's death suddenly made him feel sick to his stomach. Yuna reached out her hands and squeezed his tightly. Tidus flinched at the sudden contact. For the longest time he had dreamt of her touch, but now he was scared.

"Tidus, what does it feel like?" Yuna asked.

"What does what feel like?" Tidus asked.

"You know," Yuna said awkwardly. Tidus let go of her hand and faced her. A mask of confusing donned his face. Yuna couldn't help but smile. She couldn't help it, he was too cute. "Sex," she continued.

Tidus suddenly broke out into a coughing fit. He could not believe that that word had just come out of her mouth. Yuna rushed behind him and softly patted his back as Tidus struggled to capture his breath and his sanity. What bothered him even more was that she knew he had experience in the matter.

"Are you okay?" Yuna asked after Tidus's fit seemed to lapse. Tidus waved it off, afraid to give an answer. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I can see it made you uncomfortable." Yuna continued sadly.

"Actually, it just caught me by surprise. Never in my life would I have thought you would bring that up," Tidus chuckled awkwardly. He tried to bring some life into the situation, but it looked like his attempt failed. Yuna instead looked a little hurt. Her eyes sparkled with the hint of tears and her lips were pursed together in a frown. "Um, sorry," Tidus apologized.

"Why does every think I'm this fragile little girl that will never reach adulthood. I know I won't live to see my eighteenth birthday, but I feel that I'm old enough to think for myself, you know!" Yuna spat angrily. Tidus opened his mouth to try and say something, but he was overpowered by her continuing rant. "I'm tired of people thinking about me that way. I have feelings too, you know! I've always dreamt of falling in love and experiencing just that. All you people think that I'm innocent and unaware of such a thing. Well I'm not and I want it more than anything! The truth is, I love you Tidus. I always have and I've been waiting for so long to say those words to you. If you feel the same way, then I want to show you love. I want to feel it. I don't want to die innocent."