Carry On, Blissey

A Drunk Chikorita

If you are one of those lucky trainers we can heal your whole team free of charge under a minute. We probably deal with thousands of patients a day and many of them are satisfied with their care. On the other hand, there is only so much that technology can do. The healing machine has made care easier for us. Unfortunately, despite popular belief it does not heal every disease.

That's when I, the matron and the nurses help out. I examine the patient's condition, diagnose them, then refer them to the specialist they need. It's never an easy task and the rules are always changing to ensure that everybody gets the right health care.

No day is ever the same. One of my favourite things about this hospital is that it wasn't just pokémon from the chansey line. It had many nurses frown. Some in horror and some amused. They got the idea from Unova where they had audinos and also some fighting pokémon in the physiotherapy ward. The chansey line were very rare in Unova, but audino do a good job. Of course, I'm proud of being part of the chansey line, but I feel like the hospital promotes equality and diversity much better than other places I've worked in before. Could still do with some improvements here and there, but it's good.

I can mend fainted pokémon in a heartbeat. The healing machine works wonders for burns, paralysis, frost bites and most poisons. However, sobering them up is a different story. One of my patients today included a baby chikorita. Purple patches on his skin indicate signs of poisoning. The leaf on the top of his head flaps uncontrollably. There is also an obvious scent of vodka on the chikorita's breath. I hate these sort of cases. They make me want to double slap their trainers where the sun don't shine. Pure grass type pokemon should not be consuming alcohol of any kind especially with their poison disadvantage.

All grass types should refrain from having refined sugars. A swipe on the machine helped this chikorita recover some energy, but the poison was too severe for the machine to get rid of it. Alcoholic poisoning can be fatal. I hope the Nurse Joy has words with the trainer. If this chikorita doesn't make it, she could be arrested to neglect as well as being banned from pokémon leagues.

"Okay Chikorita," I told him. "As you are still quite young, the full restores may be too strong for your immune system." The chikorita looked at me as in to suggest he had no idea what I was talking about. It is to be expected, but I can't help but use these medical terms. I've been working in this clinic for as long as I can remember. "We will try a combination of aromatherapy and heal bells. These are natural ways to cure common status problems which will leave as little side effects as possible."

"What's a side-effect?" Chikorita asked. He coughed in his words and squinted his eyes.

"Side effects are effects that are not intended," I told him. "Once you leave hospital, I recommend that the next time your trainer gives you alcohol is to say no."

"Matron Blissey," an audino said passing by. Pure was engraved on her name tag. "This chikorita is only a baby, he might forget it."

"Pure, if we tell him when he's young it will stick with him for life."

"I am really worried about Chikorita." Pure dragged me into the corner of the room as she tried to whisper it quietly in my ear. "He could be a victim of abuse. The tests confirmed there were five units of alcohol."

"I shall forward your concerns to Nurse Joy," I announced. "I will also request the medical history of the trainer's other pokémon. Before Pure walked off, I stopped her by asking, "do you know how to use a heal bell for aromatherapy?"

"Yes, I do."

"Brilliant," I said. "If you stay here, I'll get someone who can do the aromatherapy." I marched towards a group of chanseys who were looking for something to do. The shiny one in the middle, Lucky was her name, she knew how to perform aromatherapy. She was of the best aromatherapy nurses in the clinic. "Lucky, go in room 24. There's a chikorita with alcoholic poisoning. There's an audino waiting there with the heal bells."

"Right!" Lucky nodded and scurried over to the chikorita. If everything runs smoothly, the chikorita will be discharged tomorrow morning. Time was a matter of life and death.

I was slapped on the back by a pink tail. Curiously I turned around and saw some beedrill zoom a mew into the hospital wing. I opened my mouth in awe. I hadn't seen this pokemon in many years. No doubt that everyone would work extra hard to give this one a speedy recovery as they are an endangered species. After all, we've all made our vows to preserve life, but we should apply that vow to all our patients.

"Nurse Joy! A word please?" I called. Nurse Joy had just walked out of a patient's room with a smile on her face. Someone had just been discharged from the hospital.

"Of course." I followed Nurse Joy into her office. "It seems something is troubling you?" Nurse Joy can read my mind like a nursery book.

"Pure believes the chikorita in room 24 might have been abused. Have you spoken to the trainer about this?"

"I have spoken to Alita about this."

So the trainer's name is Alita. Doesn't ring a bell to me, so she was either a rookie or someone not local from here. "What did you say to her?" I asked.

"I praised her for trying to feed her pokémon, but told her not to use alcohol again."

"Is that all?" I asked. Why should this pathetic trainer be praised for feeding alcohol? I sometimes feel that Nurse Joys are far too lenient on these brats.

"Alita has Asperger's Syndrome," Nurse Joy said to me. "Now that's not the real reason why she did this, but because she's mentally retarded as well, she can easily be tricked. I'm sure that she wants to be a good pokémon trainer. She loves chikorita, but she doesn't understand what's going on."

I opened my mouth with sheer horror. "You can't use that word in a professional environment like this. You shouldn't be using it all." Every time I hear that word, my stomach curled as I cringed. Retard was a horrible word. "And she dosen't have aspergers, it's not possible."

"What are you talking about?" Nurse Joy asked.

"A friend of mine told me that people with Aspergers are average or highly intelligent, which means she can't have Aspergers. Alita probably had classic autism."

"I'd like to know why they were both near alcohol in the first place?" Nurse Joy asked. "Sadly autistic trainers fail to reach their potential."

"That's a lot of nonsense and you know it!" I shouted. "You treat Autism like it's a deadly disease. It's not. This is discriminatory behavior!" It really wasn't fair that autistic trainers not treated right at hospitals. I don't know what's gotten into Nurse Joy. I do think that this should be investigated further. Whoever gave Alita the alcohol to feed Chikorita should be punished. She's only ten years old and she wouldn't be fully aware of the consequences of alcohol. I take back the inappropriate thoughts in my head. I'm quite passionate about my job, but it can lead me to being easily frustrated by humans. Still, Audino did the right thing by sharing her concerns to me. I hope for all the best for Alita and her chikorita.

"You know what happened to Cyrus," Nurse Joy reminded me.

"Just because one criminal mastermind had autism, it doesn't make every person with autism a criminal. I'm sorry, but some of your generalizations are just ridiculous and unprofessional. I know trainers with the condition that are excellent trainers. One of them is even a gym leader around this region." I snarled. If I wasn't on duty, I could have easily pounded her. Many people expect Nurse Joy to be friendly and polite, but this one had a very unpleasant side. Her implied hatred of people with disabilities made my blood boil with anger. It makes me wonder what made her chose to be a nurse in the first place?

Nurse Joy asked me to leave as she dived into paperwork.