Her Innocence

.2.

Why do people cry at funerals? Half of them don't even know who the person really was, and the other half try to put on a show. In some way, both halves feel some remorse, remorse for not taking the time to know the individual. Blinded by their own judgment of the person or feel obligated to be the loudest person in the congregation because they actually " knew" the person.

It was no secret in this town that my mom, dear I call her a drug user. Shit, a drug whore, well, that's what I heard a couple of townies threw around when they spoke of her. Mostly those who had some form of issue with her. People who she owed money or was sleeping with someone's wife or husband. Yeah, she was classy like that. I watched as they lowered her into the ground. I felt the telltale pinpricks at the back of my eyes. I took a deep breath as my vision got blurry; you will not cry. I chanted to myself. I looked up at the sky, hating that it was sunny. 'Fucking movies, or maybe she wasn't good enough for it to rain.'

" You okay?" My aunt asked. I sighed and looked at her. " I mean, I know your not okay, but I-never mind." She said while drying her tears.

" I'm doing better than you," I said with a sarcastic smile; Angie shook her head and walked away. I watched as everyone made their way to their various transportation modes, heading to the country club for food. I wonder if that's why they were here anyway. I made my way to the car. Angie started to pull out immediately after I buckled my seat belt.

" I'm sorry," I said. She looked over at me briefly, probably shocked.

" It's okay." She said and went back to focusing on the road. I looked out the window and watched the trees rush by and the clouds try to chase us. I shifted my vision to the side mirror and saw a broken girl looking back at me, and her eyes were bloodshot from rubbing away her tears, her lips chapped from licking them too much. Her skin pale as if she was the one dead; maybe she was dying, perhaps her soul was slowly fading, her light goes dim.

*Present*

I looked down at my bowl of chia and buckwheat oatmeal, topped with berries and Greek yogurt. I sighed and dropped by spoon before rubbing my face. I felt warm arms wrap around my waist; I shifted my head to give him more access to my neck. Dallas peppered me with light kisses before resting his chin on my shoulder.

" Why are you up so early?" I asked before putting a spoonful of my oatmeal in my mouth. He kissed my jaw before making his way over to the fridge.

" Going for a hike, figured I should start early." He said; I nodded and looked over at the clock on the wall at 5:30. He walked out of the kitchen and made his way around the island.

" No breakfast for me? " He asked with mock hurt; I rolled my eyes before pushing my bowl to the end of the opposite side of the island.

"You're never up this early, but you can have some of my breakfast," I said; he smiled and leaned over pecked my lips.

" I was just kidding, but I won't deny free food," Dallas said before putting a massive spoonful in his mouth; I swear he ate half my breakfast in that bite.

" Damn, piggy." I said with a giggle; he chuckled before walking back around the island to smack me on my but." Who are you calling piggy?" He whispered in my ear, his hand still on my cheek. I pushed back into him before saying, "you."

He chuckled, then lightly bit my earlobe. I smiled and then continued eating my breakfast.

" Did you get some rest after you left bed last night?" Dallas asked. I shook my head, no. My schedule was pretty much the same, get out of bed at 2:00 and pack my bag for practice, then preparing my pointe shoes. Then at 4:00, I do my Pilate workout to get my body ready for the day, then take a shower and get dressed. By 5:00, I should be making breakfast.