Just The Same Ol Thoughts

The Parlor

Try!

Be Perfect!

Hurry!

Go To Your Room!

I scream and yell but no one hears a thing. I walk into class and a wave of relief came to my chest. My friend asks me,

"What happened, I never see you this happy?"

I told her. "I just got back frontage counselor's and I feel relieved. It's like everything that was hurting me inside just finally got free, I am hurting but not as much as before."

I continue the day as a happy normal child. I got home with a grin and happiness filling the air, until...

Try!

Be Perfect!

Hurry!

Go To Your Room!

Shut Up!

I Hate You!

I don't want to see you again!

......

Brick By Brick,

Building a wall higher and higher.

Brick By Brick,

The wall continues to build over my innocence.

The next day I show up with a fake smile, my friend looks up and said, "You look happy." I said,

"The counselor can't fix what is broken it must remain broken. You must look out for yourself, don't mind me I'll be fine."

I continue the day as a normal child, until...

You Don't Try!

You're Not Perfect!

I Don't Need You!

You Are Stupid!

Go To Your Room I Don't Want To See You Again.

"PLEASE STOP!"

I show up to class with a painted smile because I forgot how to fake one. My friend looks up,

"What happened, what's wrong?"

I just kept quiet as she was playing twenty questions with me, I continue the day as a sad child, until...

You Are Boring!

You ungrateful Child!

You Trespasser!

Nobody Cares About You!

You Don't Matter!

I show up to class, "What did you do child?" A faded voice asks as if the cuts could show. I told her "It is the only way to hold myself together." As every cut showed. I continued the day as a depressed child, until...

Get out of my house!

You suck!

I hate you!

You are nothing!

Who are you?

Do I know you?

I walked in the counselor's "I need to talk to you." I have been there all day, until...

Why haven't you left yet?

Leave this planet!

I don't need you!

You are a mistake to be made!

Brick By Brick,

The wall was tumbling down.

Brick By Brick,

The parlor was empty.

Brick By Brick,

Soon there was nothing holding me together.

CLICK.

BANG!

After that I was mark as a no show at school. A burden has already hid under my skin. There was nothing left to save me from this cruel world. I was present on the floor of the parlor. It felt peaceful now, why didn't I do this sooner? I love it here, this is my home now.