The Idea of You

5 - impressions

William Uy is far from how i imagined him to be.

Una, ang arte.

"Uh guys, can we just have lunch somewhere else? Because i don't think the food is well prepared here. Parang ang dirty! Kadiri!"

William complained during one of our team's lunch-out-of-office meetings.

Pangalawa, bossy.

"Tricia, listen. I think for our partnership to work, let's just do it this way. Since you have extensive background in creatives, you do the thinking. You're the brains. While ako naman, i will handle the sales. I'll be the well... face. Ako na lang ang magpe-present, okay?"

Ganon? Why can't i present my own ideas? Siya lang ba ang marunong humarap sa kliente? And why can't we discuss this first? Ang lagay sunud-sunuran na lang ako?

Pangatlo, masyadong self-absorbed. Nakakainis.

"Haha! Man, just take my lead because i can damn well sell anything! Kahit panty pa ng babae dude!".

I overheard him bragging to Carlos the other day. Kahit nga yung junior niya natatawa at naiiling na lang sa kanya. Two weeks of being under William's mentoring and i can sense that they won't blend together. Mukhang hindi makakasabay si Carlos sa pagaka-confident niya.

Pang-apat, and what i find most annoying is, he is one heck of a mean go-getter salesman. Yung do-what-it-takes attitude just to seal a deal.

Last week, we had a small pitch to a newly-organized retail company, he made quite an impression to the GM, a fashionably fierce woman in her 40s, smart and a little bit naughty.

"Mr. Uy, to be completely transparent, i like you the moment you opened your mouth. I like your proposal and i am thrilled on what else can you do for me... for my company. But... i am afraid, i can't afford you."

"Well... just tell me Ms. Alvarez, how can i please you? how low do you want me to go?" sagot ni William na may hint of sexiness pa sa boses niya and i could swear, i saw him wet his lips.

I was sitting near where William was standing at, the one operating the laptop. Malamig ang aircon sa room pero pinagpawisan ako. Hindi ko na kinakaya ang sexual undertones sa conversation nilang dalawa.

Pagsakay namin ng kotse, on our way back to our office, William blurted, "Tsss... eew. That Ms. Alvarez is one ugly, pathetic tease! If her company has no money, then she has no right at all to advertise!"

I did not say anything. Hinayaan ko lang siyang magsalita. I was disappointed din that we did not get the contract right away. Pinagpuyatan ko rin yun. Kailangan pa namin i-revise ang cost and go back to present again.

But ugly tease? Nagulat ako don. Eh kanina nga lang parang any moment he'll go strip dancing na sa harap ni Ms. Alvarez. Labo.

Pero, those small annoying incidents that i have heard and witnessed about William will be nothing compared to what happened this morning when Sir E invited us for a quick meeting in the small conference room.

The purpose of the meeting is to check how everyone is doing, ask each one of us of our thoughts on how to improve our working relationship. Since we're the newest and youngest team in the agency, he wants to make sure that we're on the right track. Inuna niya muna kami ni William.

But as expected, Sir E, who's one emotional being, this update meeting turned out to be like a morning of intervention.

"Tricia, i would just like to know... gusto ko maging honest kayo sa isa't isa... kamusta ang working relationship ninyo ni William?", Sir E asked.

You see, this question is so easy to answer if only William isn't seated right in front of me.

I wanted to tell Sir E all the bad impressions i have of William for the past 3 weeks of working with him. Pero, on second thought, naisip ko to just be professional about it. I have to be objective. Kasi aminin ko man o sa hindi, the fact still remains na magaling siya.

"Uhm Sir... ok naman so far. I can see his dedication sa trabaho..." my eyes were fixed on Sir who's comfortably seated on the edge of the table.

"...and i can see how he motivates and sets direction for the team...although...", my voice suddenly trails off as i quickly gave William a side glance. Nakatingin din siya sakin.

We locked stares for a while and medyo kinabahan ako when i noticed kung paano bumaba ang tingin niya from my eyes down to my lips. He is dying to know what i am about to say.

"...medyo overpowering lang siya minsan...", tumingin ulit ako kay Sir.

"What do you mean iha? Like intimidated? Ganon? Masyado bang gwapo si William?", Sir quickly asked ng may halo pang intriga.

And i saw how that question made William smirk, almost giving out a giggle.

I felt myself blushed. Sht. That's not what i meant.

"...ah sir, hindi po sa ganon. I mean... may pagka-bossy kasi siya. I would appreciate more if he is more collaborative, like discuss with me first before making a call on things, especially on..."

"But the problem is, hindi ka nagsasalita. You rarely share your opinions with me.", William suddenly cut me off, his voice a little loud, na ikinagulat namin ni Sir.

"Sorry sir, may i talk?" - William.

Tumango lang si Sir. Ako naman, nakatingin lang kay William with much curiosity in my eyes. I'm just waiting to hear what he has against me.

"Kasi sir, Tricia is smart. Nakikita ko naman yun. Pero masyado siyang tahimik, too...relaxed. That's why i am taking the lead, because i had to, i HAVE to. I don't know if it's shyness or she's just not used to working in a cutthroat business like ours, pero either way, she has to learn how to be more assertive."

Wow. Just wow. Na-feel kong umaakyat ang dugo sa ulo ko. Did he just insult me? Did he just imply that i'm not competent enough to handle my work? Eh ang yabang naman pala talaga ng lalaking 'to! I looked away, hindi ko na kayang tingnan pa ang pagmumukha niya. Umirap din ako.

Then he continued...

"In order for us to work more efficiently and effectively, she should start breaking down her walls...at least try to get to know me first. I am not her competition. I AM her partner. Mabait naman ako. And.. i won't bite."

At this moment, parang naiiyak na ata ako. Not because i felt insulted but because i think i am starting to get what he means.

Tama siya. Nahihiya ako. Nai-intimidate ako sa kanya. Nai-insecure ako. Natatakot ako. Because ang talino niya, alam na alam na niya ang gagawin. While ako, nangangapa pa. And i am most terrified of the fact that he can sense my weakness. I know that he knows that being cold an quiet around him is just a defense mechanism. A means to hide my fears.

Paano kung hindi naman ako deserving o hindi pa talaga ako ready to be his senior partner?

And to top it all, despite all his qualities that i try hard to see as negative,

I, can't twist the truth that i am extremely attracted to him. To William.

The attraction is getting stronger that it is slowly turning into a distraction.

How will be i able to overcome this one? It is starting to affect how i perform at work.

And as if things said weren't enough, may pahabol pa si William...

"Minsan nga sir, iniisip ko tuloy... takot ba si Tricia sa gwapo?"

And with that statement, parang gusto ko na ata lamunin ng lupa.