The Rules of Survival

Rule One: Pain is Irrelevant

It's so loud in here.

Everyone is yelling. And quite frankly, I would be too if I weren't so terrified right now. I have no clue where I am but I see familiar faces. Some of which are the reason for my fear. Are they doing this on purpose or were they once right where I am and do not have a choice. Right now, I could care less. My main concern is on how I got here and why I am here. And where this large cut on my arm came from. It isn't bleeding but it was poorly wrapped up. There are many girls here and some have the same bandage so I assume they were cut as well. Before I have time to examine anything else, I realize that I am up next. A girl maybe three years older than me pulls me close by the wrist and I stumble forward. Suddenly I wince in shock. She struck me with a needle. What was in it? I can feel the cold fluid going in me and it hurts. I am quickly tossed to the side with everyone else who received the shot. Moments pass and suddenly someone is shouting orders for us to line up for another round of shots. Both newcomers and current members.  I guess this answers my question from earlier. We are not the first. Some of these girls have been here far longer than I would like.

I step into the newly forming line and wait. The closer I get, the more it dawns on me that they're going to give me another shot. I hate shots. I am absolutely terrified of them. I can see the needle and even from here it looks uncomfortably long. I don't like one bit of this. With every step I take, my fear grows. To make matters worse, I have no idea what they are injecting into me.

It's my turn. This time I am handled more gently, but despite that I resist. She tries to hold me down and unwrap my bandage. I notice others are getting shots inside the cut. I continue to struggle and resist until the girl slams the needle down and yells "that's it!". She waves to a woman for her to come over. The one that must've been giving out orders. I look around while they have a small conversation and see the terrified looks of those who didn't have bandages. Suddenly I felt very uneasy. If those were the looks of people who know what things are like around here, then this couldn't be good. My suspicions were proved correct when I heard the women whisper "put her to sleep. Do away with her body immediately".

I stood there on the verge of tears as the girl walked back to her seat. She picked a needle with something different in it and handed it to me. "Here, do it yourself," she said. I asked her what was in it and got no response. I asked again but in a louder tone. Once again, no response. She looked uncomfortable. I couldn't take it anymore and burst into tears yelling "You're gonna kill me! That shot! Please don't I'll do anything!" After a bit of silence, I went on. "Why. Why are you going to kill me."

"You are difficult." "To survive here, you must comply without hesitation, even if you have to feel a bit of pain."

She turned to the girl next to her who had also been giving shots and stabbed her in the hand. The girl had not flinched or questioned it at all. She stabbed her repeatedly with no mercy and peeled off the skin that had come up.

All I could do was stare, mortified by what had just taken place.

Finally, I got myself together and looked her in the eyes. " I will comply. I'll do whatever you ask of me."

She said nothing but nodded at the first needle.  I picked it up, injected it and walked away. I could live to see another day.