Don't Talk About Us [NamKook] English version

Don't

-Thank you- Jungkook said giving a small curtsy.

He got inside that house that was so familiar yet so strange at the same time, it had been a while since he had visited that place however everything seemed to be in the same place as before. There was the piano, there were all the family photos, there were the stairs full of floral arrangements, there was Namjoon's door room.

Jungkook hesitated for a moment, his hand in the air, shaking, unsure of knocking or not, would it be too soon? Was it OK if he was the one visiting? A lump is his throat formed, he could still run away, he could still give him more time.

"Since when you've became such a coward, eh?" he asked himself with annoyance.

He knocked...

He knocked again before opening without getting a response, he popped his head inside and inspected the place for a second. It was the same room he remembered visiting sometime in the past few years, that holiday in which Nam had invited them all to spend the summer with in his home and even if every single thing remained in the same spot the atmosphere was more dismal that he remembered.

                                                                         Sorry about the mess

There was a note stuck to the mirror. Jungkook took it and felt tears coming to his eyes, he regretted coming inside, he had no courage to do this yet, he turned around more than willing to run as fast as he could and not to return for a while, but somehow he could not move.

Right by the door was Namjoon. Smiling and looking at him as if he had hoped for that moment for a long time.

Jungkook didn't know what to do, he froze, he couldn't think about anything, his voice was gone, he was not even able to return the beautiful smile his hyung was giving him. After a few seconds that surely felt like centuries  the young one extended his hands giving him the small present he had prepared for his leader.

The older one grabbed the small bag and sat by the edge of the bed, he started taking one by one the things it kept inside: a bag of his favourite candy, a couple of his favourite energy drinks, a cap and a Bangtan postcard. His stare immediately changed, sadness took over his features meanwhile he observed that picture.

Kookie returned to his senses when he saw it and ran to sit in front of him on the floor, he gave him a wide smile and turned the postcard around.

-Look hyung, everyone wrote a message for you- he said trying to sound cheerful  You see, even Suga hyung wrote something-

But even trying to make him smile, nothing in Nam's face changed, he then knew that had been a bad idea, he had known from the beginning when he asked the guys to write something for their leader, he knew when everyone looked at him with sadness and resignation, he knew when he left the rehearsal room and heard Jin cry, he knew the whole time it was a bad a idea. Then why did he do it anyway?

Namjoon took a small notepad and started writing on it, then he turned it around to show Jungkook the message.

How are the guys?

-They're fine- he said trying too hard to sound convincing, the last thing his leader needed was to have an extra worry - they are rehearsing very hard, we all do... for when you come back-

Namjoon looked away, Jungkook couldn't stop thinking how everything had been such a terrible idea, he should have waited more time. Namjoon scribbled on the notepad again.

Tell everyone I'm alright

That was all he wrote, he stood up and turned his back on him, Jungkook knew the visit was over and he didn't like it, there were so many things he wanted to tell his hyung, he wanted to tell him how he had been since that day, he wanted to apologise, he wanted to tell him about the nightmares that kept him awake, he wanted to release the weight on his shoulders, the guilt, he wanted to say how sorry he was.

-Next time I'll convince the guys to come, we could have a picnic or a game afternoon. What do you think hyung?- He just got an approving nod back as a response. Jungkook could not hold his tears back anymore.

He left the bedroom and walked through the hall, walked down the stairs, then  said goodbye to Namjoon's mother and left that house, the same one that used to have a sound of it's own and that now was sinking in silence.

*******

A month ago.

-Come on! Please, no one will find out- Jungkook insisted as he grabbed Namjoon by the arm-It will be for a little while, please!-

Namjoon looked at him, both with tenderness and frustration, he loved to see him like that, when he acted like a little kid and on the other hand he felt dejected  because he knew he'd say yes, he couldn't say no to his maknae.

-Only half an hour, understood?- he admonished

The little one nodded excitedly and started pulling the arm of his leader, that party was just an excuse to leave the house, that night Jungkook had decided to declare his love for Namjoon , he had gathered enough courage the entire week for that moment, he had made up his mind, that night  he would tell him all.

-We'll take the SUV- the leader said  taking the keys carefully-You'd better not tell any of this-

Jungkook smiled, that night would be unforgettable.

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Helloooooooo I just want to thank @NayVarsie for allowing me to translate her beautiful story. I know you'll enjoy it as much as I did. 

I'll make sure to post once a week, this a short Namkook and I hope you all love it.