Fifty Shades of Friar

Damage Control

Somebody give me, uh
Somebody tell me the answers
Me and you isn't the answer, uh
Me and you isn't
Maybe I'm tellin' myself that
But there ain't nothin' that'll change that
What good would it be, if I knew how you felt about me? (yeah)

- Could've Been; H.E.R (ft Bryson Tiller)

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"You realize that our mistrust of the future makes it hard to give up the past"

- Chuck Palahniuk; Survivor
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Maya

Oh shit. Holy fucking shit.

Hey there, little girl.

I can't breathe.

You're still awake? You're such a bad girl, Maya. It's past your curfew.

I don't know how long I've been here.

I did know my knees were shaking that I allowed myself to slide down against the wall until I was slumped on the floor like dead weight. I was trembling too violently I could be mistaken I was having a seizure. Maybe I was and didn't know I was. My face felt heavy - am I crying? Possibly. I wouldn't be surprised. Whe

I shook my head. I didn't mean to be a bad girl - I just couldn't sleep because mommy was crying too loud in the other room.

He smells weird. He reeks of booze and weed. I inch further into my pillow and hug my knees tighter against my chest as he slowly stumbled into the dark room, whimpering helplessly. He's scaring me now. Why is he acting like this? Why he is looking at me that way?

Stay away from me. Please.

He doesn't listen to me. He shuts the door behind him, locks it, before he wobbles closer to my bed until his shin hits the bedpost and he tumbles onto my blanket. The sound of glass shattering was heard when it buckled to the floor. I cringed. I'm terrified now. This isn't him. He managed to balance himself on his hands and knees and startled to crawl up to me, his unfocused eyes somehow settled on me with an odd glaze that made me tremble in fear.

I want my mommy. I want my mommy. I want my mommy.

Mommy is sleeping.

I shook my head. Get away from me - you're scaring me.

Shh, don't be scared little baby. I'm not going to hurt you.

His hand was touching my face and I flinched away from his touch. Bad move. He didn't like that; he roughly grabbed my face in his grimy hand and forced me to look at him directly, much to my discomfort. I didn't like what I saw. His face was scrunched up in a rage too raw that it made me shake violently in horror.

Please let me go. I'm a good girl, I promise.

Before I even had time to process what was happening, I felt a pair of lips press against mine not-too-gently. My vision blurred with tears as I tried to pull away from him but his grip on my face was too strong and I just gave up right there while I silently cried in desperation.

I want my mommy.

He forced his tongue in my mouth, nearly choking me, and a broken sob broke out of me. I want my mommy. Then he pushed me down to my back, following me, pinning my hands against the mattress next to my head, caging me like a hopeless creature, as he continued to kiss me sloppily. He tasted horrible. He felt horrible. He was horrible. Why is he doing this to me?