Flooding {Karamatsu Angst}

What is the fucking point?

At this point in time, I have to ask:

What is the fucking point?

I only wish 'a flood of incomprehensible terror' was a description suitable for the emotions tearing apart every inch of me inside and out in this moment. Not only because that is such a watered down and laughably inaccurate understatement, but also because the term 'flood' suggests, much like 'watered down' that some form of wetness could possibly exist, a fact I simply cannot comprehend in this situation.

Granted, I was afraid before. Bound to a stake amidst the vast sea, freedom a mere respondent phone call away. However that allotted me at least some period to calculate a plausible escape, or time to reason with my customarily cordial captor.

That particular scenario had ended less than agreeably; however, given that Chibita had seen fit to liberate me from those restraints, I should not complain.

And given he had seen fit to offer me consolation, and even an as-of-then unnamed means of retribution, I should be summarily gratitudinous, BUT I cannot find it in myself to provide such appreciation.

Being bound to yet another stake, this time in such a location as before my own abode, could be likened to a slap in the face with my own hand. The fire allotting me no time to even fathom an escape.

Particularly at this time of night, my brethren, whose loyalty to me was patently nonexistent in the first place, could only be shown as even less so.

Alas, here I have found myself. Resigning myself to my fate. Death, either by inferno brought on by flames, or by my family's wrath. For a brief instant, I mistakenly allow myself to believe they have appeared to assist me now, be my saviours from a fate as dreadful and terrifying as feeling the tongues of the flames consume me. Yes, I do admit. Foolishness enveloped me, burning just as hot as the fire had, and I truly believed my loved ones would save me.

They damned me instead.

Love is a demon intent on destruction. So, whether family, friend, regardless, I shall never truly love again.

Because based on my own experiences;

What is the fucking point?