The Lane

Fields

As we couldn't see our home town behind us anymore, Halie shouted strained:" I am too jaded of running let's make a downtime, look at the cornfields over there, I want to rest there for a while." We walked in the direction, where those fields were located at and I realized, that I haven't been on the oxidized air for a long time. The shafts of sunlight made a pleasent feeling trough my whole body. Together, we layed down in the wide fields and suddenly a big greenish beetle landed on my left hand. Halie was really fascinated by this dilly insect, sitting that still on my hand. I just enjoyed watching the sun and hearing quiet sounds, which I would miss normally. Everything seemed so perfect, till that moment when  my hands suddenly started to shake and my whole body was coated in a jacket of sweat. The deprivation gnawed on my mind. Although I seemed happy at the moment to the outside, I really was not inside. My thoughts were about getting some substances somewhere and I really didnt care where I would get them from. the only thing, which was highly important for me at the moment was to get at least one pill from somewhere. I did not want Halie to know about all of my problems, because she had enough of them and I should not extra-stress her. She has not a lot of time left and shoud not even spend one second of it thinking about my problems, which are on my own responsibility.

As I was absorbed in thought, Halie suddenly turned her head into my direction and whispered in my ear: "You are so mysterious to me and I yust can not look trough your mind to see what tears your brain at the moment, but I can see that there is something occupying you since we left.I answered:"Halie I do not want to strain you with my problems, you have enough of them. " She replied with a soft voice:"Please Liam tell me your story, i told you mine and I will be there for you no matter what your problem is". I started to telll her the things, that I told you in my story like everything about my mind and addiction and at the end, i finished our conversation with the sentence: "Halie please help me to isolate my mind from my bodyit is is getting more destroyed as long as I act like this and as long as i damnify myself."But Halies answer to this all was not to talk to me like a psychiatrist, but to take my hand and look at me without saying any words. And this situation was like a cure for me and it touched me like one hundred times more then just talking about something. This was the first person in my life, in wich I found a feeling, which was like arriving at home for me. She was the only human on earth, who did  care about me and as I watched her for a longer time, I kind of started smiling a little bit. There were some tiny freckles around her nose and on her cheaks and it was the first time, I noticed how beautiful she really was. When I was around her, it felt like being cured for an instant. But unfortunately, this moment did not last for a long time at all, because she suddenly stood up and told me, that we have to leave immediately. She seemed really nervous and panic- fueled. I asked her what was wrong, but she ignored my question and shouted: "Just shut the fuck up and run! NOW!". I was full of questions but the way she acted, it seemd like a really grave or dangerous situation and so I did what she told me and started to run. I sprinted as long as my legs started to hurt and even further. The compound started to change as we reached a acuumulation of trees, leading to a big forest. We did not have time to search for another path and so our only opportunity was to run trough the forest trying to not get lost in the crisscross of branches and shrubs. The only problem we had except for getting lost was, that the dawn started to wrap our whole surrounding into darkness. The trees started to throw shadows, which kind of reminded me of a scene from a horror movie, which I had seen at the cinema last month. A slightly cold breeze blowed trough my short,brown buckles and my black T-shirt moved in the wind, it was a cold feeling on my skin, but it was kind of pleasent, too. The sun burned on my head for the whole day and the cold flawy weather was a nice diversion to the past few hours.

Now another question started to emerge:"Where are we going to sleep tonight?". Halie had an idea, she knew this forest, because she and her family always went camping in the nature and she remembered a forest glade near by a river. Halie took out her smartphone and opened the app for navigation and the compass got indicated. She looked around till the needle exhibited to the direction of north- east. She was one hundred percent sure, that this was the right direction and she was able to remember some trees and scenically conditions and she was right. After half an hour I could hear the quiete hissing of a stream, at which she and her brother angled during their camping trip. It was a lovely stream with a water basin at the beginning and dosh and brake growing around it. I was happy about the fact, that I was able to take a bath in the nature and thats what I did, I went up to the water basin of the river, took off my shirt and short throusers and jumped into the growth of water. As I stepped out again, wet everywhere, I took Halie by her hips and jumped into the water again. As she rised up again, her facial expression was really angry , but then she started to lough. The charism of her laughter was so sweet, that I had to start smiling, too. Under the water, I slightly grazed her finger tips, but I did not dare to take her hand, although I would have done this really willingly. I think, that I start liking her more, than I should. And what now? If there is something between us it is not gonna be permanent. I have to seperate my feelings and my mind , because starting to love her means losing myself.