15. Remembering

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"And how are you, young lady?" Karen said. "Are you well this morning?"

I blinked yes.

"Good," she said. "Are you remembering?"

I blinked no.

"Can I help you?" She asked.

I blinked yes.

"Okay, honey", she said. "Then let's begin. I will sound out the letters and when you blink 'yes' I'll write that letter down. Alright? First word, first letter. Is it a vowel?"

I blinked no.

"A consonant," she smiled, "good. Stop me with a blink. B, c, d, f, g, h, j, k, l, m, n, p, q, r, s, t..."

I blinked for yes.

"Good," she said. "I will write 't' for our first word. Let's begin again for the second letter."

I blinked at h.

"Is the first 'the?'" She said.

Yes, I blinked.

"Good," she said. "Second word first letter. Is it a vowel?"

No, I blinked.

"A consonant," she said. "Good. B, c, d, f, g..."

I blinked.

"Good," she said. "Are you getting tired?"

Yes, I blinked.

"How many words are there?" She said. "Two? Three?"

I blinked.

"Alright," she said. "We'll only do those three words. I have 'g'. Shall we continue?"

It was hard. My eye lids started hurting and my eyes watering. I tried to blink the tears away but I couldn't because then Karen would have the wrong letter. It took a long time, but then we were done.

"'The Green Room'," Karen said. "Is that correct?"

Yes, I blinked.

"Can you tell me about the green room?" She said.

No.

"Are you in the green room right now?"

No.

"Have you been in the green room?"

Yes.

"Is it a good place?"

No.

"Does that place scare you?"

Yes.

"Are you scared right now?"

Yes.

"Alright, sweetheart," Karen said softly. "We won't work anymore today. I'll come back tomorrow. We've done great work, Katie. Your mother will be so proud. You have a visitor waiting in the hall."

It was Elsa.

When Karen left the room, Elsa came in and lay beside me on the bed. It startled me. I thought the doctors would be angry but no one came in to stop her.

She nestled close to me and I felt her soothing body against mine. She stroked my face and hair. She was crying.

"I'll do anything," she cried softly, "go anywhere for you. You taught me how, sweet girl, when I needed you. Now you need me. Now let me help you. Where are you? In the meadow with the wildflowers?"

No.

"Are you in the palace, in the throne hall with the princess?"

No.

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