SHE WAS HE [Not edited, for now]

A Memoir

"Please remember my beautiful viewers, for eyeshadow, use dark colors and glitters for the night, use soft or vibrant colors for the day." Reminded Kaleb while looking at the camera with a smile more wide than his ass.

"Unless of course, you are feeling saucy and want to break the damn rules then you are welcome to do it."

I was in the living room, drinking a cup of coffee and admiring the spectacle that Kaleb was recording for his Youtube channel. He took over of the dinning table, with his friend, Darryl. They were doing a makeup tutorial plus answering some questions regarding some techniques and suggestions. Honestly, I'm happy to know that his channel has come to great progress but I can't bottle up my discomfort when he acts as a another person in front of the camera. I think that he is perfect just the way he is and it would be a waste to not show people this amazing being. May I go forward to conclude, that even with Darryl he acts as a different person.

As someone who doesn't care about the opinions of others, who pretends to be someone who cares about expensive brands, someone who continuously has to demonstrates a wild sexual life. That is not the Kaleb that I know, my friend, is bad mouthed, a rebel, energetic, but he will never betray the person he appreciates, he is capable to go through hell and back for that person. When he becomes attached to a person, he suffers with them, that's why I'm always cautious of his "friends". I don't want him to allow the wrong people into his heart, that could cause him great damage. Call me overprotective if you must, sometimes I even reserve my own feelings because I don't want him to suffer with me, I want him to be happy and at peace.

I should not decide for him with his friends but I'll make sure as hell to tell them how to exit from his live if I see them being a bad influence.

Kaleb is doing a makeup technique on Darryl while talking about his "night adventures".

"This girl had a damn hot body, also she knew how to play it well, she was getting me warm and ready to hit the bed. If y'all know what I mean." he said turning to give a wink but returned to work on Darryl's face.

"Anyhow, I was on, ready to give it to her but then I noticed she was wearing butt pads. I freaked out and yell at her and her fake silicone ass, then I stormed away. She must being out of her damn mind if she thought I was going down with that shit."

While he was telling his story he kept moving his arms in the air, expressing himself and this actions annoyed me. It reminded me to my dramatic mother, when she had a problem with her customers she said she was ready to fight them. That was a lie, obviously, she kept quiet and did her job diligently but she wished to have the courage to fight them, that is way she lied to us with her tale about the customer. Just like Kaleb, who wishes to had stormed out but in reality, he stayed and pleased the girl, regardless of her fake ass. He was too kind hearted to turn her down and I know he didn't walk out because I heard it from his own mouth. The story changes because right now he is pretending to be someone he is not.

I sigh loudly, catching their attention.

"You have the opportunity to make something different, that could inspire the audience or entertain them," I remark with a bored expression.

"But, from all the things, you choose to create a makeup tutorial, one that thousands and millions of other Youtubers had made already." I might sound a little harsh but his facade was getting on my nerves. Also I regret it when I saw Kalebs fiercy eyes, ready to argue with me, but he wouldn't. Not right now at least, he had the camera in front and Darryl, which means he needed to keep acting. I was planning my escape from my friends claws because when Darryl

"Honey, what matters is not the makeup tutorial," said Kaleb glancing at me.

"is how you make it unique between thousands and millions of others."

Instantly I rolled my eyes and couldn't manage to close my mouth.

"I just don't understand the purpose of makeup, you should love yourself and embrace who you are." I finished standing up, ready to go to my room.

"Yea, but sometimes when you like someone, you want to look charming for that someone." said Darryl, getting in the conversation but I started my walk, ignoring him and closed my door.

"She didn't wear makeup and I thought she was the most gorgeous lady." I whispered to myself, thinking about my goddess again. I had her retained in my memory, replaying our encounter over and over, endlessly. That day, only a lip gloss was present in her face, making her sensual mouth shine with pridefulness. In the few seconds that we interacted, she made me feel a lot of things, but mostly she made me remember the unique day when I realize that I could only fall in love with women.

"Sophomore year of high school, two more years to get out of the prison as I used to call it. I recall that I was going through a emo phase, my clothes were always black, my hair was down, I didn't socialize, not even with the other kids that seem emo like me. I couldn't say I was a rebel because even if I skipped class at the end of the day I would turn in my homework. The school administrators were constantly in the hallways, hunting down whoever defile the rules. Of course, the teenagers are more slick than them because we knew that the restroom stalls were the only place that they wouldn't violate. At the moment I was running from an administrator, which happened to be a woman, I ran fast into the only stall available, apparently I wasn't the only one running from the woman, every person in that restroom at the moment were hiding from her. I sit down in the toilet and since I had to wait for a while, I took out my pen to draw on my hand. I heard hurried steps from outside, then an agitated respiration, It startled me when someone began to knock on each door.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!." said a desperate voice in a low volume.

Then I figured, there was a person trying to get away from the shark(the administrator). I took a deep breath as I kept hearing the agitated knocks, a was no samaritan but I wasn't a cold hearted bitch either so I opened my door.

"Pss. Quickly get in." I said quietly.

The person didn't hesitate because in front of me there was an adorable red haired girl, with some big bright eyes.

"Thank you." she said sweetly and I nodded in response.

She glanced at my hand and took it to observe better the drawings in it. I looked away, her face was so close to mine that it made me a ball of nerves. I kept glancing back, I couldn't deny that she looked cute in her yellow and floral dress. Her fingers were consistent to discover the art in my arm because she pushed my sleeves up to my elbow, she continued to touch and admire. When I came down to my senses, I opened the door and start walking out rapidly. In the middle of the hallway I heard her voice loudly.

"Wait!." I stopped and turned to the sound of her sweet voice.

"You dropped this." she extended her arm with my pen in hand. In that moment I looked at her straight into her pretty eyes and I realize that so far no men had ever made me feel the way she did. It was like discovering something but at the same time you knew it was always there. My heart felt at home, full of warm feelings that I wished they would stay forever.

I stepped forward, grabbing my pen in the process but positioning my face close to her, so close that I could see her freckles. At that moment something beyond myself, took control of my desires and I didn't fight it at all.

"Thank you." I said and gave her a slow kiss in the cheek and walk away without any hurry at all. The layer of pink on her face made her look more adorable than before and at that though I giggled a little."

My memoir was interrupted by a consecutive hard knocks at my door.

"You better get out of there asshole!" screamed Kaleb furiously. He was making one of his scenes again, however, our years of friendship taught me how to deal with this kind of situations, I had no energy to do so.

"Lia, you bitch! Don't ignore me! I swear I'll knock down this door if you don't open!"

I ran to the door and start putting my nightstand and my small sofa in front of it, to prevent the beast from entering.

"I'll like to see you trying!" I screamed back.

Yup, this is how I always deal with the situation, I really hope that my door is strong enough.