Heart's Desire

One moment in time.

"How can you be so cruel?" were the only words Anika could think to say to God after learning about Shivaay's heart attack. Her mind was in chaos. Shivaay's pleading eyes had tried to tell her so many things, but she failed to listen. Now, she cursed herself for blindly believing his words that day. Tears flowed from her eyes uncontrollably. Her heart berated her mind for overruling her instincts, for not meeting him one last time before deciding to leave him.

"Ma'am, are you alright?" the attendant asked. Anika didn't respond, too lost in her own thoughts, consumed with guilt and blame.

"Ma'am, this way..." the attendant said, the words finally reaching her ears. Slowly, Anika looked up, realizing someone was guiding her. She barely registered the person pulling her along. She felt disconnected from everything, the pain overwhelming her. Not even when her parents were on their deathbeds did she feel such agony. It was as if someone was ripping away her reason for living, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop them.

As they reached outside, the cool air hit her face, bringing her back to reality. What she saw next felt like a nightmare unfolding before her eyes—Shivaay lying unconscious on a stretcher. Her heartbeat stopped for a moment. Her eyes widened in horror. She didn't want any of it to be true—not the heart attack, not the scene before her.

"SHIVAAY!" she screamed, her voice echoing through the space, but her words didn't reach him. She kept yelling his name as she ran toward him, tears streaming down her face, uncaring of anything else around her.

Within seconds, she was by his side, shaking him desperately, but nothing happened. Her mind told her he wouldn't wake up, but her heart refused to listen, clinging to hope, just as it always had.

"Shivaay, I'm here! Wake up! Please wake up! Don't test my patience, Shivaay, for God's sake, wake up!" she cried, grabbing his sweat-drenched shirt, but he remained unresponsive. Soon, the sound of an ambulance siren filled the air. She raised her head and saw them moving the stretcher quickly inside the ambulance. Anika followed their speed, not leaving his side for a second.

Inside the ambulance, she sat beside him in silence, her hand trembling as it reached out to caress his hair. She hoped it would wake him, but the pain in her heart was unbearable. Her tears flowed endlessly, and even her body shook from the sobs she tried to hold back.

"I'm sorry... I know it's all my fault... Please don't punish me like this, Shivaay... I can't live without you... Please..." she wept quietly.

They arrived at the hospital, and the stretcher was rushed toward the ICU. Anika tried to go in with him, but the nurses stopped her. She collapsed into a chair, her heart heavier than ever. It was as if all her energy had been drained—Shivaay had taken it all with him. She couldn't cry out loud, she couldn't think, and she couldn't do anything but wait.

"Ma'am," a staff member called her, handing over Shivaay's luggage and jacket. Anika took the jacket, clutching it to her chest as she breathed in his scent, afraid of losing him forever. She glanced helplessly toward the ICU, silently pleading for him to come out and wipe her tears. But he didn't.

She put on his jacket and hugged it tightly, as if she were holding him. Nothing else mattered anymore—she just wanted him back. Suddenly, she felt his phone vibrate in the pocket. Messages kept popping up. She swiped to open it, but the phone asked for a password. Just then, another message from Ansh appeared. A wave of fear washed over her—how would Ansh react when he found out about his father's condition? She had to calm him down before he started worrying.

She tried entering different passwords, but none worked. Then, a memory of her past with Shivaay flashed through her mind. With trembling fingers, she typed 'anikashivaay'. The phone unlocked, making her smile briefly. She glanced toward the ward, hoping for a miracle.

She quickly opened the chat and was shocked to see there had been no conversation between Ansh and Shivaay for the past three days, starting from the day she was admitted to the hospital. All 104 messages from Ansh had been sent within the last hour. As Anika read the messages, another one popped up.

"Dad, nothing happened to you, right? Please, Dad, reply... After this, I won't message you again, as we discussed. I just want to know if you're okay. Bad thoughts keep coming into my mind, and I can't focus on anything... Please reply, Dad. I know you're reading this."

The words left Anika in distress. She wiped her tears and quickly typed, *"I'm absolutely fine, Ansh. Don't worry about me. I'm in a meeting, which is why I couldn't take your calls."* She pressed send. The blue tick appeared instantly.

*"Thank God, Dad. You have no idea how many nightmares I've had. Dad, I have a request... Can we stay in touch? These three days have felt like decades. Please, Dad... I can't take it anymore. I know it was my decision, for Mom's sake, but I feel like I'm dying inside. Let's stay in touch... Please, Dad. I know it's risky, but I can't do this anymore."*

Anika read the message twice, stunned to realize that Ansh had made his decision for her sake. She didn't know whether to cry for Shivaay's condition or for her son's sacrifices.

*"We'll stay in touch. Don't worry. I'll call you in a few hours,"* she replied, clinging to the hope that Shivaay would recover.

*"Okay 😀"* Ansh responded and went offline.

*"Shivaay, I made a promise on your behalf... please don't break it..."* Anika thought as she closed the chat. She accidentally opened the gallery and was shocked to see countless photos of her and Ansh filling the screen. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she realized how deeply Shivaay had missed them. Overwhelmed, she fell to her knees, unable to bear the guilt.

Out of curiosity, she searched his jacket pocket for his wallet. After struggling for a moment, she managed to open it. Upto her surprise, she found her photo inside. Tears fell uncontrollably as she remembered him once telling her in college that he'd keep her photo in his wallet after they got married.

*"Shivaay..."* she whispered through her tears. As she continued going through the wallet, she found an old letter behind her photo. She was about to open it when the doctors came out of the ICU. She rushed toward them.

*"You brought him in just in time. I believe this was just Angina, better to check his whole body, but by God's grace, he's going to be alright,"* the doctor informed her with a reassuring smile. Relief flooded Anika's face. Without waiting, she rushed into the ICU.

Nurses tried to stop her, but she wouldn't be held back. Inside, she saw Shivaay connected to multiple machines and tubes. She cupped her mouth in shock at the sight of him so fragile. She couldn't face him, yet she couldn't leave him either.

Her soft sobs finally reached Shivaay's ears. He recognized her voice immediately and struggled to open his eyes. The sound of her crying pushed aside the effects of the medication, and he managed to open them slightly. He saw her, crying uncontrollably, cupping her mouth. He shut his eyes again and tried to open them once more.

"An...an...ika..." he whispered, his voice weak and pained. Anika heard him and rushed to his side.

"Shivaay," she whispered back, trying to control her tears, but she couldn't stop them.

"An...ika..." he repeated, struggling to speak. She knew her tears were causing him more pain than his actual condition. She quickly wiped them away, trying to put on a brave face.

"I'm fine," she said with a faint smile, cupping his face gently. He reached for her hand and managed to touch her cheek, assuring himself this wasn't a dream.

She smiled at him, kissed his hand, and whispered, "Don't you dare hurt my heart again. Rest now... we'll fight later," she joked with a mix of grief and relief. Shivaay's lips curled into a small smile, but he couldn't respond. She wiped away the tears that fell onto his pillow.

She kissed his forehead, and a tear from her eye fell onto his cheek, solidifying his belief that this moment wasn't a dream. He smiled widely and closed his eyes, finally at peace.

"I don't care if I die at this moment... Thank you, God... thank you so much," he thought as he drifted into a restful sleep.