sunset

prologue

green.

i turned to the boy at my left and met his green eyes with my blue ones. this was something i wasn't used to; i was accustomed to craning up to see him as he usually towered over me, but now his eyes were close as we sat.

i reeled myself back into reality, realizing he'd said something.

"let's keep walking."

we stood up from the bench, strolling down the rest of the trail. to the left was a view of the bay, to the right a small forest. the sun was making its way towards the ground and it reflected onto the water, creating a pinkish glow throughout the ocean. the sky was a mixture of pinks and oranges and further from the sun was a purplish color, the waves splashing against the rocks, birds behind us chirping. like a scene from a movie, honestly.

we walked for a little while longer before finding a few rocks.

i sat down on a big rock to watch the sun set over the water. he came on the same rock as me; i tried not to get nervous,our shoulders touching as we shared stories and talked about life.

i could feel the wrenching at my chest and as i heard him laugh.

i hated that. i hated how i couldn't stop my stomach from dropping just by looking at him. i hated that i couldn't prevent the warmth i felt in my chest by just talking to him. i hated how easy it was for him to break down the walls i built just by smiling at me.

i loved it, also. i loved talking to him. i loved looking at him, laughing with him, being around him, listening to him. i loved it more than anything.

looking at the beautiful scene, we sat in comfortable silence. the pastel sky had turned to more vibrant shades of orange and pink and the color had deepened. the rest of the sky was tinted purple and blue.

"this sky is insane," he finally spoke.

"it's beautiful," i responded.

the sun slowly made its way to the horizon and the scenery around us became increasingly darker.

he stood up before me, moving swiftly off the rocks. he took my hand and helped me off the spot we were sitting and pulled me back onto the trail. we then walked back towards the car humming and talking.

i was stalling. i didn't really want to leave, i wanted to stop time and stay in this moment. i did not want to go home at all.

i approached the tan Ford escape and unlocked it.

"i'll see you tomorrow right?" he said.

"of course."

he then stretched out his long arms to hug me. he pulled me in and one hand rested on my head while the other was around the small of my back. i felt him kiss the top of my head, right on top of my hair. i internally hissed at this, wondering if he ever gives any thought to his actions and the effects they might have.

"drive safe, okay?" i nodded and gave him a soft smile in response.

he pulled back then looked at me in the eyes, shifting back in between both of them. i felt the pounding in my chest as he looked down at my small frame.

i broke myself away, telling him goodbye and breaking eye contact.

i watched him walk away confused as i got into my car. i could feel the pressure on my nose and behind my eyes as tears built.

as i drove home, i cried. i cried and cried until i felt like i was going to dry out and explode.

he will never like me. he probably doesn't see me any differently than any other girl.

my head started to throb so i just turned on my playlist and focused on driving, trying not to think about anything.