A Good Book

Plan 1: Building our company

Rogue and Poppy sit bored in health class, staring blankly at the teacher who was ranting about puberty. Their lives were completely and utterly boring and average.
Ripping their gaze from the shitty teacher, their eyes caught a sight so disgusting and horrible. Something so ungodly and putrid.
It was a boy.
His immature nature angered the two girls, as he played with his pokémon cards. Battling with his best friend, Cappo.
The stupid boy clicked his gross fingers in frustration as Cappo lays down the most powerful card, the Magikarp card. Cappo grins smugly as the putrid boy throws his cards aggressively to the floor in a rage.
"I give up!" He shouts, "Your pokémoning skills are too legendary for the likes of me!"
You're probably wondering who the dumbass boy is.
Well, his name is just as disgusting as his appearance and personality.
It is...
Jillian.

We cringed in disgust as we diverted our gaze to something more pleasant. Standing in front of us, was our dear sister MoniQ. Our deformed and disabled triplet. We can't blame her though, she got stuck in the womb for a week longer than us, because her head was so big. Luckily, we turned out fine. In fact, we are the most superior human beings who ever walked this pathetic planet.
As we looked at MoniQ, she was staring dreamily at Jillian, drool slightly escaped the side of her lips.
You see, MoniQ has a huge crush on Jillian. Thinking his Pokémoning skills are very impressive.
It was quite sad.

Now that we think about it, we hate every single person in this class. We wouldn't mind terminating every single one of them. If only people would like us enough to let us go unpunished with killing them all.

Wait. There may be a way where we could get so many people to like us.

The two girls looked at each as they just thought the same thing at the same time. Because they were conjoined twins that could unconjoin if they wanted to, therefore they had pretty good telepathy.

"We should start an online multi-purpose company to gain followers!" They both said at the same time.

And so, at lunchtime, they sat in the library. Constructing their brilliant company from scratch.
The main purpose is to teach people how to do a variety of amazing talents. Using carefully made videos to instruct people on how to do things.

Such as:
Extreme yoga
Helicopter building
Operating food trucks
Professional finger dancing
Performing surgery
Treating cat diarrhea
Catching food in your mouth
Killing your parents
Making chicken kiev

The list goes on.

We worked hard in recording and posting the tutorial videos on our newly made website.

"Hello everyone, we're Poppy and Rogue! And welcome to our multi-purpose website, where you can become a better person just by following our easy step-by-step videos! Our videos are so good, they will save your crumbling marriage and make your cheating wife love you again!" We said to the camera enthusiastically. "Just look at one of our happy costumers! Who just got a relaxing massage by yours truly! Let's see her review of our company!"

We faced the camera to our sister, MoniQ. As we pointed a gun at her from behind the camera.

"Uh I hat-love Rogue and Poppy's company!" She said nervously, we urged her to continue. "They definitely didn't break my back at all, they fixed it with glue *cough* *cough* I mean they used therapeutic methods and relaxing techniques to fuse my broken bones together! Heh heh....(she laughs nervously)"

"Well, there you have it!" We say as we switch the camera back to us. "You heard it here folks! Our company is totally legit and not sketchy at all! See you guys later, be sure to donate to our patron and come to our classes! *whispers* my personal favourite is the finger dancing!"

And with that, we ended our introduction and posted it on the main page of our website. We turned to MoniQ and gave her 50 cents for her cooperation.

"Your welcome." We both say to her as we kick her out.

We chuckle simultaneously as we watch our follower count go up.