Emotions

Prologue

Depressed

(of a person) in a state of general unhappiness or despondency.

Synonyms: sad, unhappy, miserable, etc.

This is what you find if you search up the definition of depressed. If you read this, it might sound like a pretty accurate definition, too.

Oh boy, if only you knew how much you're wrong.

Feeling depressed isn't feeling unhappy. No, it's much more than that. It's really not even a feeling at all, at least in my experience. It's when you are feeling so much all at once - insecure, heartbroken, pained - until you are just empty. That's when you know you can't cry any more tears, since you have already cried enough to fill all of the oceans. When you are empty, you're thoughts - those demon voices inside your head fade. And the only way you think you can be empty is by harming yourself. You pick up the razor, the gun, the rope, the pills or whatever it might be, just so you don't have to feel these stupid feelings that you get. You want to stop eating so you can be skinny and be considered "pretty" in society's eyes. You want to swallow the pills so you can fall asleep and not have to deal with the bullshit that those kids in school say and do. They call you fat, an attention whore, a slut. And the worst part of it all, you believe them. I made this blog to help the millions of people exactly like you. Even if their situations are different, they feel the same things you feel. They may have different fears. You might be afraid of somebody finding out what you're emotions and insecurities behind you makeup and fake smile, and someone else might be afraid of that evil person to come back and abuse and rape them. Even if a situation might sound worse, these two people will still fear what they know will come. I just want to tell you that it is okay to be sad. It's normal to want to cry and sleep and never to wake up. But it isn't okay to take your life. Life is so beautiful, even if your view on life is shit, I need you to know that life will have its ups and downs. You will meet someone who loves you for you, even with all of yours curves and scars. But the only way to live a happy life is to be happy. It's hard. I know. I've been through it. I know what you're feeling. When you want to give up, don't. You need to be strong, and enjoy the little things in life. If you do, then you'll be happy and maybe, just maybe you can meet your very own Hunter Dobbs.

This is the crazy, depressing, cliche (and many more adjectives) story of the one and the only, Olivia Thompson.

(This story might be triggering to some.)

Author's Note

My first story on Wattpad! Sorry if it sounds horrible...

Please don't copy anything!