ANONYMOUS

To anyone who wants to listen,

I still love him. I know in my heart I do. But he makes it very hard to love him. His fists get in the way. It's my fault though, because every time he does it, I know it's because I've done something that angers him.

She stared at the screen of her laptop, her hands poised in mid-air over the keyboard. Her muddy green eyes gazed at the letters. She knew what she wanted to say but she didn't know whether she should say it. She wanted to tell someone but she wasn't sure whether she wanted them to hear. Carefully she pushed the keys. The tapping of her confession resonated around the small room. She raised her eyes back to the pixelated screen and moved them to the new word emblazoned black on white.

ANONYMOUS.

She pressed the enter key and pushed her chair back from the desk where she sat, got up, and walked up to me. Fresh tears prickled at the corner of her left eye and gently fell down over the palette of screaming violet, muffled green and throbbing scarlet on her cheek bone. She gingerly wiped the tear away. Her face was patchy with the flat grey remembrance of past assaults. Tinged with a yellow as faint as the reasons why he chose to do this to the woman he had vowed to love.

'Sophie!'

He was home. She jolted her head and cleared her throat.

'I'm up here honey!' she simpered. She heard his thundering footsteps on the stairs. Sophie looked around the room with a sense of unease when her gaze fell upon the open laptop. The latest blog post quietly blinked its secret into the room. She rushed towards it as we heard him unlock the door to her bedroom.

She grabbed the mouse.

We heard him put the key in his pocket.

The little white arrow moved shakily towards the red X.

We heard him turn the handle.

She was thirteen pixels away from safety.

The door burst open.

She twisted in front of the laptop.

The little white arrow teetered over the little red X.

'How was your day darling?' Her right hand fumbled behind her back.

'Nothing special.' He grunted, chewing a hangnail on his thumb. He looked up to her and then looked towards the laptop. Curious. 'What have you been doing?'

'Oh nothing... I was-I was looking at...' She clutched the mouse. One click and everything would have been fine.

'What!' His voice was getting louder. 'What were you looking at?' One step forward.

He was in line with me now. Sweat beaded on his bald, brown brow. His teeth gritted together and his eyes were black.

'I...I...uh.' Her index finger stretched towards the top of the mouse.

One step forward.

One click would have done it.

'You're hiding something.' Accusing. He whispered menacingly and took another step forward. There were just inches between them. 'YOU'RE HIDING SOMETHING!' He yelled and grabbed Sophie's mousy brown hair. She screamed as he threw her into the corner. Her betrayal of him was now clearly visible.

There were a few minutes of deafening silence and the scratching scroll of the mouse.

'Did you write this?' His voice was unusually calm. Maybe I was wrong but I sensed pity in his voice.

Sophie clutched her head.

'No.'

He got up.

'You're lying.'

Pause.

'I know you're lying.' He added. 'Who are you telling this to?'

'No-one.' She whimpered.

'So it is you who's writing it?'

She slowly nodded. She looked at me over his shoulder. I felt her terror. He turned to look as well. I felt his anger. He puzzled at me for a while. I had no choice. He was in control. He was forcing me to mirror his reason.

'BEAT HER.'

'You lying little slut.' He slapped her and dark crimson blood gushed from her right nostril.

'You're sending this to other men aren't you? You're trying to get sympathy from them AREN'T YOU?' He grabbed her hair once more and slammed her head against the wall with a splintering crunch. Blood splattered the white surface. 'Well you're not getting any sympathy. See what you made me do? You must know it's your entire fault.' He jerked her head back again. Crack. 'Was it me who wrote bad stuff about you? No!' Punch. 'I've provided you with a life and a home you could at least be grateful!' Kick. 'Aren't you going to answer me?' His hands clamped around her throat. She looked at me with sorrowing hate.

'Is this how I'm going to die?'

He looked over his shoulder to me again. He was God. He was going to decide whether I would live or die. His clutch loosened from around her neck and he strode over to me and raised a bloody fist. Smash.

I was a hundred little glittering pieces. He grabbed one of my shards and turned to Sophie. She lay cowering up against the wall. I was the unknowing weapon. I was in his hands, cutting into his dark skin, spilling his blood over me, his knuckles whitening as he clenched me tighter. And then I was in her heart.

On reflection I shouldn't have been there. But I was there; and I had to keep on watching. On reflection he should have served more time. But he got let out for good behaviour after seven years.