France's Daughter // Hetalia

Chapter Ten- A Cute Smile Won't Bring Back Your Innocence

Charlotte (Charlie, Lottie)

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"Papa, why didn't he love me?", I ask, looking up at him. "There had to be more reasons than that one..."

He scratches his beard, thinking of an appropriate answer, before stroking my hair softly. 

"Some boys are like that, mon cheri. They leave when they don't get what they want. But you're so smart and beau, you'll find another in no time. You'll find a better man, who'll treat you so much better than that Bryce ever could."

He kisses my forehead, and I give him my best smile. I wonder if I should tell him about Matthew.. I mean, I've been telling him everything for the past few hours. No.. I like this. I like the innocent side he still sees. He knows I'm a virgin, that's a plus.. but if he knew what almost happened with Mattie.. I'm not sure what he'd do. 

"Listen Charlie... Do you want to come back home?"

I know he's expecting an immediate answer. I know he wants me to say yes- but God, this is too hard. I love living here with Alfred, but this freedom is costing me way too much.. I almost lost my virginity to scum, I've gotten into drugs and alcohol, and I've been making out with guys in alleyways! I'm such a mess... I need my Papa. 

"I'll give you your freedom.. I understand you're a growing femme. It was hard on me before, but I know now it was all my fault you left. I won't push you to be this perfect woman.. You're free to be you, mon cherie."

Nobody will ever know how long I've wished to hear those words. My decision is final- I'm going back home. Oh I wonder what he's done to my room. I hope he didn't sell any of my things. It would suck to buy all new stuff. 

"Alright", I smile, cupping his cheeks. "I'll come home, Papa."

He grins from ear to ear, and pecks my nose quickly. I never remember him being so affectionate. I hear the door unlock, and in steps Alfred and Matthew. Mattie looks horrified, but I give him a reassuring smile. 

I'll never tell Papa what happened that night between the cafe and the salon. 

"Yo! Are you guys done with your heart to heart yet? Jeopardy is on in five", Alfred shouts from the kitchen, taking some food out of a paper bag. 

"Yeah, we're done", I say quietly, giving Papa one last smile before getting up. 

I brush past Mattie on my way to the kitchen, and the feeling of our shoulders connecting sends sparks down my arm and straight to my heart. A feeling that was once dormant starts to awaken, and that tingling in my stomach grows even bigger than before. God, what is this!?

"Did you get me some?", I ask playfully, sitting on the counter and kicking my feet against the wood. 

"I did, actually!", Alfred smiles proudly, digging inside the bag. "Chicken nuggets, man"

He hands me the small box, but I instead look at my thighs, squished against the granite counter, and shake my head.

"I was just joking. I'm not really hungry right now. Y'know the whole papa-fille fiasco really doesn't get your appetite started", I chuckle.

He nods as a response, stuffing his face rapidly, as if he's never eaten in his life. I laugh, and skip back into the living room, where Papa and Mattie are chit-chatting. Matt looks so nervous, like it's killing him to keep our dirty little secret. I plop down next to Papa, curling into his side as he wraps his arm around me. Sure, it may seem like something a little kid would do, but I don't care right now. 

"You're sweating mon garcon! Are you falling ill?", Papa asks, leaning towards him and pressing his hand against his forehead. "Perhaps you should get some rest."

"Perhaps I should, bonne nuit", he almost stumbles over his own words, and quickly rushes up the stairs to his room. Papa looks to me for clarity on the situation, but I just shrug as a response. 

"Yo! Iggy's on the phone, says you're not answering your phone!" Alfred calls, throwing his phone at Papa. "Next time, answer your phone. I don't like your weirdly hairy hands on mine."

I laugh as Papa scoffs and puts the phone to his ear.

"Bonjour, my petite black sheep, what can I do for you?"

"YOU BLOODY GIT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU FOR HOURS, IS YOUR RINGER OFF!?! I WAS WORRIED SICK YOU LITTLE-"

I laugh. Arthur's shrill voice blasts through the phone, and Papa holds it away from his ear, so he doesn't damage his hearing. 

"Let me say hi, let me say hi! I haven't seen him in forever!"

Papa hands me the phone, and through Arthur's excessive screaming, I manage to get in a quick 'Bonjour'.

"...Lottie, dear, is that you?"

"Oui, oui, it is I, Charlotte Bonnefoy!"

"Oh, Lottie! How have you been, darling it's been forever since we last spoke! Are you coming home for holiday?"

Oh right! Thanksgiving is coming up! 

"I'll be staying for longer, actually. I'm coming back home, mon ami!"

There's a pause, then excited screaming. It's hard to pick out the scrambled words, but I know he's happy I'm coming back. I miss those wild eyebrows and false sense of cooking superiority. 

"Angleterre, you're annoying", Papa says, taking the phone back.

I just watch as him and Arthur battle it out through the phone, bickering non-stop. I haven't seen Papa so worked up in a long time. Just like old times. I smile ever so gently, and stand up to stretch my legs.

"I'm gonna go check on Mattie", I whisper, but I know he's not paying attention.

I walk away, climb up the stairs, and stop at his door. It's closed- there's no noise coming from the inside. It's not abnormal for him to be quite- but the silence is jarring. Do I knock? Do I just waltz on in? No... It'd be so awkward to see him again, alone. He's anxious, he doesn't need me right now. 

So, I leave him alone, and instead begin to pack my bags.