Days in a Crucible [BakuIida]

Chapter 7

A few more days of this and Iida realizes they've got a routine going. They go to work, where in most aspects their relationship is as it's always been, and they head home separately, Bakugou going back to his place to get clean clothes for the next day. He ends up at Iida's place every evening and makes dinner for both of them. After they eat, they do their own thing for several hours, not interacting much if at all. When nighttime rolls around, they climb into bed together, talk for a while, and fall asleep. Had someone told Iida a month ago about this - that he'd be willingly sharing a bed with Bakugou daily, and that he'd actually enjoy it - he would have taken it as a joke. The Iida of now is amazed at the seamless way they fit into each other's lives and at how seldom Bakugou grates on his nerves now.

If he's being perfectly honest with himself - and Iida likes to make a habit of doing so - he has to admit that his favorite part of his day is sitting in bed with Bakugou, talking. He finds there's an openness that comes with being warm, physically comfortable, and a little sleepy. It seems to be true for both of them, so the sharing actually goes both ways. Some nights Bakugou will talk about his relationship with Todoroki, but others Iida will talk about his own life: his parents, his brother, his childhood. Maybe because Iida is careful not to laugh or mock him, Bakugou in turn does not make fun of Iida. He listens and nods, occasionally asking questions.

The nights Iida finds to be simultaneously the best and worst are the ones where Bakugou talks about his relationship with Todoroki. Iida never imagined that a relationship could be so complex; six months isn't short, but in the grand scheme of things it isn't long, either. Yet Bakugou's time with Todoroki had a life of its own - distinct stages, bursts of passion and dry spells, and, of course, fight after fight after fight.

Bakugou enjoys talking about those in particular. He has a vivid memory for them, too, as if they happened just the other day. "Can you believe he said that to me?" he says, voice loud with righteous anger, and Iida nods and gets mad on Bakugou's behalf, even while knowing he is only getting half the story.

At first, Bakugou does not talk about sex in detail - all he says is that he'd had a lot of it when he was with Todoroki. When it's brought up, Iida feels embarrassed on his behalf. Isn't it strange to talk about that sort of thing with an awkward virgin? Iida knows there is absolutely nothing sexy about himself. He's perfectly aware his entire existence is a turnoff.

Still, as they talk more and more about the relationship, sometimes Bakugou does bring up sex. When he and Todoroki fought, Bakugou says, sometimes they resolved things by getting in bed together. (Iida thinks that sounds like a terrible idea, the relationship version of sweeping dust under the rug, but he does not voice this. His disapproval of the way Bakugou handled his months-dead relationship means nothing now, after all.) They were monogamous, but neither kept it a secret that they both found others physically attractive; they might even discuss those people together, to see how their tastes in men overlapped. At the peak of their relationship, there were entire weekends they'd spend with each other alone, hardly leaving the bed, much less the house. And so on, and so on.

The more Bakugou shares, the more Iida is forced to realize his own ignorance. He knows the mechanics of sex, knows what an orgasm feels like - he does masturbate - but he never thought of it as something so pleasant and powerful that it could shape the course of a relationship. It leaves him wondering what the fuss is about. But Bakugou doesn't seem to care that Iida knows hardly more about sex than a kid would; he still talks to him about it as an equal, never patronizing or condescending, even if the conversations on the topic are entirely one-sided.

The more Bakugou talks about his past with Todoroki, the more mixed Iida's feelings on the topic become. On one hand, Iida enjoys being a sounding board: he can tell it's therapeutic for Bakugou, and Iida is happy to lighten his load. But on the other hand, Iida realizes it's beginning to make him feel uncomfortable. He gets an almost physical sensation, as if there's a weight in his gut. Yet he does not understand why.