How I Really Feel

definetly need a break in general

Ok so update: yea got a new bf might end up breaking up with him too....something has to be wrong with me. I honestly didnt even think this entire thing through. But b4 I get into that.

Why is that when I date a guy, I always choose the guys who wont talk to me at all. Like i could text them and then they wont answer and then they wanna kiss and make up when i start losing interest or try and break up and honestly im done. Im done hurting myself with these guys.

I may like them but it doesnt mean that i have to love them or give them a chance because this last one in the span of 4/5 months has sent me on an emotional roller coaster and thats not okay.

I need time for me and to get me together. Until then im out of the dating game. Its too crazy and heart breaking. Its gotten to the point where ive lost so much sleep that I passed out in school.

Its completely out of control and it doesnt help that my mother doesnt give a shit and continues to work me to the bone. Knowing that im sick or am at the brink of unconsciousness. Ive passed out many times under her watch. Ive almost died at least 10x under her "care".

And to make it worse my sister is getting in on it. Blaming everything on me. Anything broken, stolen, etc. It gets blamed on me and i pay the consequence which is normally a beating.

My step-dad is a useless boytoy. A comete suck up to my mom. If anything he gets me in the most trouble bc he's always lying saying im lokking at him the wrong way or i said sum to him when i dont even say hi to him. I dont say anything to anyone, i dont look at anyone so how would i b able to do that. Please explain....

Its just....just plain horrible. Ik there r others who go through worse than what im going through but im not them and they are not me. We have different tolerances and mine...is no where near reached apparently.