Dear Ex- Husband
I wrote to you this letter to apologise for everything that took place in our marriage, we both wronged each other, but let me be the first to apologise and share my side of the story.
We were happy, very happy, until you ruined it all with your accusations.
I told you a million times that I was not having an affair with anyone, but you never believed me. You were so consumed with jealousy and hatred that you did not once stop to think of how much your words were hurting me.
You stopped kissing me, touching me, and being my husband, all you were to me was a big headache.
I was tired.
I was tired of you bringing my confidence down,tired of watching you break my heart into pieces, tired of the hatred in your eyes, tired of all the accusations, tired of crying, tired of making excuses for you...
So I stopped.
Enough was enough, it was time you started accusing me of something I really did instead of speculating.
So yes, I went ahead and did what you had expected of me, I found comfort in someone else's arms.
His name was Joe, was a sweet talker, he had charmed me from the start . He made me feel loved and wanted something you were failing to make me feel, yet deep down my heart still ached for you.
Things changed when Joe proposed. I knew I had to do right by you and Joe. So I came home one afternoon after breaking things off with Joe and started packing my bags
I was ready to leave you and your house, but you arrived early that afternoon.
For the first time in nine months you were my husband again. You kneeled down and begged me to stay. I refused but you wouldn't take no for an answer, I ended up blurting out about my affair with Joe,but surprisingly you didn't care.
You wanted to fix our marriage, and go back to how things were before everything happened.
Like a hopeful idiot, I believed you.
Everything went back to how it was, we were back to our old paradise again, we were happy again...
Well that was until you laid your hands on me. You apologised saying "it was a mistake " and I forgave you.
But you know what's funny? You repeated the same mistake over and over again, until it got so bad that I had to be taken to the hospital.
When I woke up, the doctor told me that I was lucky that my baby and I had survived.
For the first time in a long time, I was happy. A life was growing inside of me, I was going to have a baby, my very own creation.
You walked in with a smile on your face, flowers in your hands and a 'get well soon ' card, as if you were not the reason I was there in the first place.
I tried kicking you out of my room, but you threatened me with my baby. You threatened to fight me for my baby's custody when she was born.
I laughed, I really laughed that day.
You hadn't touched me in 10 month, except for those apology kisses you had given me after beating me in the past month. So how could I be pregnant with your child?
You nearly strangled me had Joe not arrived in time that day.
I realised four things that day:
1. You needed psychotic help.
2. I was never the problem, you were.
3. I was no longer in love with you.
4. My world was a better place without you.
Four years later, here I am drinking tea, watching my little angel play with my husband, with your letter in my hand.
I can't really deliver this letter to you in prison, simply because this was supposed to be a - some what- apology letter, but I have nothing to be sorry for...
You pushed me in the arms of Joe, thanks to that I am very happy today.
