Diaries of The Older Collegiate (#TheFreshman)

Untitled Part 5

MAY 10, 2019

10.30 A.M.

Who was I kidding? It's Katrina Green we're talking about here. She never forgets.

I wish I could say that the entire college discussion ended in the attic itself, but all my hopes vanished when she dumped an entire stack of college applications right in the middle of the breakfast table.

I folded the morning newspaper and looked at her steadily. "Kat, I thought we were done with this."

"Done? Girl, we are just getting started! "She sat down on one of the chairs, puffing out air from her cheeks. "I did promise that I'd get you into college, right? Luckily, most of the decent ones – "she pointed towards the stack "- have extended the dates to a few days longer. If you hurry, you'll be able to apply to most of them."

"Honey, what is all this?" My mother enters the kitchen, looking confused. "Are you planning some sort of a college reunion?"

"Mom, Anna's decided to join college!"

My eyes grew wide. "What? Kat -!"

Mom was too stunned to speak. There is pin drop silence in the room. Suddenly, her eyes fill with tears. Panic fills my entire being.

"Mom! Mom, this is all just a big –"

"Oh! My darling!" she engulfs me into a tight hug, leaving me breathless. She breaks away with a huge, watery smile on her face. "I'm so proud of you! I've always regretted that you've let go of all you've dreamed of, just for ...that boy."

My parents never really liked Lucas all that much. I've always sensed that they felt obligated to tolerate him, just for me.

"Mom, you do realize that I'm no longer an eighteen year old, right? I'm. Too. Old. For. This."

"Oh, hush." She waved her hand dismissively. "There are plenty of open uni –"

"OPEN UNIVERSITY? NO WAY!" My sister's voice booms from the other end of the table. "You are not going to spend your long treasured college days in some boring, grumpy, soulless dump! I've seen your SAT score – "

"My twelve year old SAT score, you mean." She ignores my jibe.

"- and they were pretty impressive. You can easily get into a good university with the full package- manicured lawns, huge campus, frat houses and so much more. In fact-"she picks up the brochure on the top of the application pile, "I've already selected one for you."

I look at the brochure she picked. Lancaster University.

"Wait, isn't this the one –"

"The only university you applied to, back in the years. " My sister finished the thought.

I blink away the impending tears.

"You got accepted back then, do you know that?" My mom said, looking at the brochure with hope. "By the time the letter came in, you had already moved in with him."

"I-I should've thought better, right? " I whispered, bowing my head down low.

"You still can, Annie," my sister hugged me.

A small ray of hope flickered inside me.

Really, is it possible?

No.

I stomped out all the irrational thoughts from my head. "They'd never accept a 30 year old. I don't see any programs for older students –"

"But they haven't mentioned of any particular age limit either." –I opened my mouth in protest – "Come on now. What's the worst that could happen? You'd get rejected. It's worth a shot."

I looked on from my mom to my sister. Both of them nodded their heads encouragingly.

Suddenly, an idea popped into my head. "I need to talk to Dad first." Dad was a sucker for social reputation and rules, he would never approve of this.

It seems that Kat realized the same thing, for she shook her head and was about to protest. However, Mom beat her to it.

"Yes, of course, you should talk to your father about this."

Kat looked at her, surprised. "Mom, she's thirty! She doesn't need Dad's permission anymore."

"I'm not asking her to get his permission Katrina," my mom asserts firmly. Kat slinks back immediately.

Mom's scary when she's pissed. "I'd just like her to ask her dad how he feels about this. The ultimate decision is, of course, yours." She gives Kat a warning glance.

"Yeah, of course it is," Kat mumbles quietly.

My decision.

All my life, I've always lived to the decisions of others- first my father, then Lucas. But now, finally, I get a decision of my own.

What am I supposed to do about it?