I Take It Back

Chapter 1

"That's it, I'm cutting myself off!" I shouted over the blasting, loud music at the Theta Chi frat house. I slammed my fourth shot glass down on the cold granite counter and closed my eyes as the hot liquid slid down the back of my throat. My best friend Savannah couldn't stop the laughter that fell out of her mouth as she threw back her sixth shot. She could always hold her liquor better than I could. 

I couldn't help but notice how her long, raven black hair tumbled around her shoulders as she laughed. She usually always had it pulled up and away from her face, but tonight she was determined to do things differently and left it down. Her blue eyes were always such a stark contrast to her hair that had me wishing I came half as close to her beauty. However, I have to admit that I did like my caramel colored eyes. I felt like they were warm, but didn't give away too much of what I was feeling on the inside. Afterall, there were things about me I didn't want anyone to know, things I preferred stayed hidden, and caramel eyes didn't stand out or attract too much attention. 

My long, thick auburn hair was pulled up into a huge messy bun stacked on top of my head and while it may not have been the cutest look, I was thankful for the fact that the breeze from open windows and doors brushed across my neck. The heat of this house with the crowd was almost overwhelming paired with drinking.

"Emma, don't even THINK about quitting now. Tonight is going to be one for the books!" She was already pouring us two more shots and I swear the room was starting to spin. I was buzzed, not wasted but I knew that was going to hit soon if I kept going at this rate. But her infectious smile and excited attitude had me eagerly reaching for those next shots.

As I looked around the room, I realized how incredibly packed this house was. The Theta Chi fraternity was definitely known for their parties, and oftentimes the cops came to shut it down. But it's also home to some of the star athletes here at Grandview University so I had heard they usually ended up getting a little more slack than some of the other fraternities. It's the house every guy WANTS to be a part of, to be a brother of. But it was hard to get into and the hazing is insane, at least that's what we were told by a kid who had supposedly not made it through the process.

Clouds of smoke wafted through the hallways and over the makeshift dance floor, everyone was either smoking joints or cigarettes, whatever was on hand. The music is so loud that the floor was thumping beneath my feet and there were countless heated couples groping each other, making out or practically having sex, scattered around the house.

My stomach felt sick as the nerves washed over me. I wouldn't say I was a prude by any means, I mean I've had sex before, but I also wouldn't say it blew me away when I did. It happened years ago, back when I was a sophomore in high school. So, you can imagine just how awkward it was. I didn't experience those sparks, or the tingles, or even some outstanding orgasm at the end. I left feeling a little less satisfied than I had before I got there. I had been crushing on this boy for two years, wishing he wanted me as much as I had him. When the time finally came and I got what I thought I wanted, I realized that sex wasn't nearly as exciting as I had read about or watched in movies. Honestly, it was a freakin' let down. So being surrounded by people grabbing at each other constantly while shoving their tongues down each others throats confused me and left me feeling uncomfortable. I wish I had experienced that kind of passion.

"Hey, stop staring perv." Savannah giggled and nudged me in the ribs, tearing me away from the trance I had fallen into. I didn't even realize I was staring at one couple in particular.

They were sprawled across the couch in the living room. The woman was on her back, wearing incredibly short jean shorts which were torn up all across the front, leaving nothing to the imagination. I don't even know why she was wearing shorts in the first place, they covered nothing. The straps of her black lace bra were sliding down her arm as the guy on top of her continued kissing her neck, his hands roaming across her body and pulling her leg up around his thigh. I couldn't help but notice his muscles, I mean how could I not? Her hands were sliding underneath his shirt, lifting it up and exposing his back. I could see each muscle straining under his tattooed skin as he continued to rock above her. His hair was longer on top and shorter on the sides, giving way to dark strands falling across his forehead. Oddly, a fleeting thought crossed my mind that I wanted to reach out and brush his hair away from his face.

As if he was reading my thoughts, he turned around to look at me. "Like what you see?" He laughed as he turned back to the busty blonde girl vying for his attention. She giggled like a little school girl and brought her lips back to his in a fervent passion.

"Awkward. Let's go", Savannah said as she grabbed my arm and pulled me away before I could embarrass myself any further.

That was weird... I can't believe I didn't realize I was staring at them. My cheeks flushed and it took everything inside me not to run out of that damn house right then and there.

"Wait! I need another shot." I said when I tugged Savannah's arm gently back as we pass the counter again, pouring us another.

"Hell yes! That's my girl!" Savannah shouted and I couldn't help but laugh at the giant grin that spread across her face. 

She was always ready to party and was the one who pulled me out of our dorm, to make sure I was being at least mildly social and was definitely the one who made me feel like I could actually have FUN every once in a while. Our high school days were different, but that's behind us. This is college. It's going to be a completely different story. I kept reminding myself of that as she pulled me across the house to the dance floor. It was jam packed with frat guys, sorority girls, and anyone else who got invited to this insane party.