Focus On Me | Yugbum

She's a monster

It was a week after my father's funeral and I was curled up on my bed, blankets over my head as I was crying myself to sleep once again. Mark hyung was out with his friends tonight and he had said something about wanting to forget the pain for at least a day, so here I was stuck in the house with Seungmin. I locked my door, even though I knew the consequences, hoping that maybe she would just ignore me like she had been the past two weeks since father's death. Sadly, I found myself very wrong as I heard my doorknob jiggling as if someone was trying to get in. My heartbeat quickened and I tried getting up and opening the window to escape, but I was too slow because the door was suddenly flung open.

"You little shit! Do you think you can lock your door and just try to leave this fucking house this late at night?! I've had it with you!!" Seungmin started screaming and grabbed the back of my shirt collar, causing me to try and grab it to keep her from choking me. She yanked me back and threw me to the floor.

"You are only good for one thing." She said, voice dripping with hatred and malice. Suddenly, she was on top of me, pinning me to the floor as I tried to push her away.

"Get off of me!" I screamed, hoping someone, anyone, would hear me, but nobody did. She started pulling my clothes off as I tried fighting her, trying to lift her weight off of me.

"Stop struggling, you fucking bastard!" She slapped me right across the face and tears welled up in my eyes. She took the opportunity to take off the rest of my clothes and hers.

"You are going to make me feel good, whether you like it or not, faggot." She spit on me as I just cried, not even able to fight back anymore. The only thing I managed to do was weakly cover myself, but even then she yanked my arms away and tied my hands together. I cried. It felt like I was powerless over her and I really was. I cried and cried and called out for help, I called out for Mark hyung, but she just slapped me and told me he never cared about me and he wouldn't help me. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore. My body went numb as she just took my whole body over. I was crying from fear and pain, anxiety and sadness, and anger. It was so hard to hold back the tears, even though all she did was hit me. I was sure that I would be bruised and cut worse than I have ever been.

"That's right, fucking cry baby. You feel so good with me using you, but don't let it get to your head, you worthless slut." She was moaning and enjoying herself as she used me for her own pleasure. My body went into shock and shut down, and I fell unconscious, but not before I felt a sharp object against my body.

The voices were distant, but all I felt was pain. Everywhere. I could feel everything. I opened my eyes and looked around, finding myself in my bed where Seungmin probably left me. I looked across the room and spotted two figures, but it was too dark to make them out and I didn't have any energy to move, so I just closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

I woke up in a car, feeling pain shooting up my lower half especially, probably from the way I was sitting. Jackson hyung was sitting right next to me and Mark hyung was driving. I had no idea where we were going, but I didn't really care. I just felt like sleeping, so that's exactly what I did. I went right back to sleep.

The next time I woke up, I was in a bright room and it took me a few minutes before I could fully open my eyes because of lights. I groaned as I felt a bunch of wires and needles attached to my arms and hands.

"Don't move around so much." I heard a deep voice across the room, and it took a minute before I registered it as Mark hyung. I looked over and saw him leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and eyes on me. I was relieved, but at the same time still a bit cautious. I remembered the words that Seungmin had said and I teared up, looking around for Jackson hyung.

"I-I want Jackson h-hyung.." I whispered, whimpering a little. I saw Mark hyung's face sadden, but he nodded and left the room. Minutes later, Jackson hyung walked into the room and came over beside the bed.

"Hey, Little Yug, how are you feeling?" He asked, and I sighed.

"C-Cold.." I pouted as I felt pretty cold from the ac constantly being so low in the building which I had deduced to be a hospital. Jackson hyung nodded and grabbed a blanket, coming back over.

"I'm just going to put this blanket on you, alright? Nothing else." I slowly nodded after hesitating for a moment and watched very closely as he laid the blanket across my body and then stepped back.

"Thank you, hyung," I mumbled and sighed, basking in the warmth. He cleared his throat and I looked back up at him.

"Is there...a reason why you asked for me and not Mark hyung?" He asked, hesitating because he seemed unsure of my answer. I froze and remembered the words she said, trembling and whimpering.

"I-I...sh-she said...no he...c-care...h-hyung.." I started to cry, remembering her face and words so vividly, just as much as her actions. Jackson hyung started panicking, not knowing what to do to calm me down, so he pressed the button to call the nurses. After a moment or two, a nurse came over to me and put something in an IV bag that went straight to my arm. I started feeling a lot calmer after a few moments and then slowly fell asleep. 

I woke up to the sound of voices and looked around, but there was nobody in the room. It seemed the voices were coming from right outside the room. I took a deep breath. I finally had some space to think. I just now fully registered the fact that I had just been beaten and assaulted by Seungmin. Here I am, a fourteen-year-old boy who's just lost his father and been attacked by his supposed step-mother. I panicked at the thought of remembering anything that had happened earlier, I refused to talk to my brother, I flinched when anyone came near me, and my whole body had a dull ache. I hope that Mark hyung and Jackson hyung hadn't figured out what had happened, and if they did, that they didn't tell the nurses or doctors. My heart was racing at the thought of something happening to Seungmin and her coming after me. I started to cry silently, shaking my head and trying to rid myself of these thoughts. Just as I had wiped my tears, I was startled by the door opening and looked up quickly, heart racing in my chest.

"Gyeom-Gyeom?" I heard the soft voice of JaeJae hyung and I immediately started crying again.

"JaeJae hyung, I w-was so s-scared.." I mumbled, not understanding my sudden outburst. It seemed he didn't understand it either, yet he came to my side.

"Can I hold your hand, Gyeom-Gyeom?" JaeJae asked and I was startled by the sudden question but ended up hesitantly nodding my head. He waited for me to hold my hand out before slowly and gently lacing his fingers into mine. I trembled slightly, but took a deep breath and smiled at him, mostly keeping my eyes on our hands. I trusted him not to do anything, but after what had just happened, I was still wary and on edge. Who could blame me for it? It sure seemed like they all understood how I was feeling, so they must have figured out what had happened. I sighed and hummed quietly, trying to calm my still trembling nerves. I just wanted it to all be over. JaeJae hyung stayed with me until a nurse came back into the room and put something else in my IV bag again. I slowly fell asleep after JaeJae hyung let go of my hand and moved away, smiling sadly. I just wanted this to end. 

|| word count: 1427 ||