Deus Ex Diluvium (Ryden)

Epilogue

Hm. So. I'm reading this a few months after I wrote it and I've been toying with the idea of deleting this little epilogue for a while. I still might. I just feel like it takes away from the emotion and ambiguity of the ending, but perhaps you might find the ending too heavy without it, so I'm leaving it in for now. But please think of this as one possible ending rather than something definitive.

Also, I know no one is reading this anymore but if by some miracle someone is seeing this and has an opinion on the matter, please let me know.

It was different this time.

Rather than drifting into consciousness he was snapped into it, the split between life and death brutally clear.

He had been struggling for air, pain ripping through his lungs like fire along a streak of gasoline, consuming him. Then he'd been inhaling and exhaling normally, the air clean and fresh, not even out of breath.

Cold, swirling water had pummelled him, the numbness roaring across his skin, conflicting with the fire within. Then he'd been warm and comfortable, feeling neither sore nor tired, his hands no longer grasping at a knot he'd never untie, but lying calmly in his lap. The sweater beneath them was soft and dry again.

"Oh thank god!" Arms wrapped around him, holding him tight.

The table was almost empty. Only two chairs had been filled and now one was lying on the ground, kicked back by Bonny in her excitement to greet him.

"Hey," Ryan smiled, blinking against the sudden light. He turned his grin to Anna, who was waiting patiently for him to be released.

Something else was different too. Before, he'd been convinced he'd been in a dream. Now, he was almost sure he'd just woken up from one. The events of his life were clear enough, but surrealism tinted their edges. They had meant something, but that meaning was gone, washed away by the roll of waves.

"We were getting worried," she confided. "You were the last one, the very last. We were beginning to think you'd never join us."

"Here to stay this time?" Bonny pulled away from him and Ryan was surprised to see her make up was smudged from crying.

"Yeah. No going back now. Are you alright?"

"Just glad you're safe." She wiped a hand over her eyes as if to hide all evidence of tears. The makeup smudged even more.

"So, Ryan, you want to talk about it?" Anna was perched on the table, staring at him intently.

"About what?"

"Well, I assume you have a story to tell, being the last person alive and all."

That's when it hit him. The realisation that he should not be here. That he should be floating through darkness, unconscious, or maybe not. He'd said he didn't care for a life without Brendon and he had meant it. He'd meant it then. Now, after feeling his life be wrenched from him and the sheer, overwhelming despair associated with it, he was grateful to be alive. That didn't make the loss of Brendon sting any less.

He slumped over, hand pressed to his face, feeling his knuckles tremble against his mouth.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Anna was beside him in a heartbeat, her gentle hand rubbing his back. "I shouldn't have asked. You need time to adjust. I know I did."

"He's gone," Ryan leant into her. "I lost him, Anna."

"Brendon?"

Ryan nodded, his lips pressed together so tightly they were starting to ache.

"Everyone's here. Everyone. We'll find him."

"Not him." He stared into her eyes, so full of a hope he longed to share. "You saw him, right? Up there?"