my history

way back when...

So I was born with cleft lip, and my mom had me when she was 17 so she couldn't afford a surgery for me. Thankfully a doctor helped her out and I got the surgery for free. He did a pretty good job on that so I am grateful. My dad left my mom before I turned one, he brought a gun to court while the divorce was in progress so that ended that and I was left with my mom. My mom moved from place to place with me always getting help from friends and family. I don't talk about it much but I had severe anger issues. I mean SEVERE anger issues. I got in fights tons, got expelled and suspended more times than I could count and my mom could never hold on to a babysitter for more than a week. I also did many other things but I did one I'm especially ashamed of. I was told that I stuck a nail ( yes the one used in construction), and I stuck it in a girls hand. The reason I don't remember this is because of the same reason I don't remember anything up until I was about seven. I got a head injury after falling, get this, you know how teachers tell you not to lean back in your chair. Yeah well I did anyways. And I hit my head on something ( never asked what) and I lost consciousness. I don't remember much but waking up and seeing my mom practically screaming her head off. Protective much? I was only seven and pretty small so that didn't mix well with a head injury. I just will never remember a bit of my life. After that I went to therapy for a bit because I still had anger issues but less than before. I smashed a lamp and I remember never going back to that one. My mom got a African american boyfriend, tall and pretty strong who would beat me regularly. Sometimes for no reason at all. At that point in life I was around nine and I started stealing from stores. It was a card type called yu- gi-oh or something. I never liked the game but the cards looked cool to me and my mom couldn't afford anything much so I would steal them daily when my mom would go into Duane read to look at magazines. Never bought them just read. My apartment was really small so I had no where much to hide them and my mom eventually found out. I got beat from her boyfriend until I saw red. I wanted to kill him. I'm not crazy but it just seemed right at the time. We went to Ohio to visit his parents and I was behaving pretty well. We had dinner and then I got ready to shower. But her boyfriend wanted me to get undressed before him and my mom before I go into the shower. Naturally like any human I refused. He physically forced me to get undressed and stuck me out in the backyard. Mind you it was the middle of the winter with a backyard full of snow and freezing temperatures. I remember looking at the window and seeing his cold expressionless face stare down at me for about ten minutes. My mom standing next to him as if nothing had even happened. As if a nine year old boy, her son, wasn't outside naked freezing cold standing in the snow. My mom finally broke up with him but she still abused me. I would put my hands in front of my face when she would yell at me because she slapped me full force a lot when yelling at me. She would yell at me to put my hands down, I would start sobbing and I remember this clear as day. She hit me so hard I felt like thousands of little needles were poking at my skin. I was on the floor and she shouted at me. STOP CRYING NOW!!! That of course made me cry even more. She stomped away but not after stepping on me. I sat on the floor for what felt like hours just crying and crying. Then fast forward two years I met a new friend. I had no anger issues any more and he was nice at the time. We hung out all the time and our parents lagging behind. His dad was single as well so I wasn't surprised when he propose to her on valentines day. Fast forward until I'm twelve and i move to Stamford Connecticut and I bought a house. Another year forward and I have a baby brother on the way. He's born now but he hasn't left the hospital because of something in his lungs. My mom isn't violent anymore and life is all right. It has its ups and many downs. But that's to be expected when your me