"I..."
Billie's POV.
My head looks over to Ryann and I see her cheeks flush red. "I-..um..sorry" She stammers and I walk over to her bed. I sit down and she looks at me with hopeful eyes. "I..I don't know.." I whisper and the expression on her face looks like I broke her into a million pieces. I grab her face gingerly and close my eyes, kissing her lips. "I love you too, I just..no one's ever loved me before I guess. I mean yeah I had a girlfriend before but..I didn't really love her" I say, still cupping her face. "So..you do or you don't?" She says, giving me a hurt chuckle. "I love you Ryann. Okay?" I say and she lets out a sigh of relief. She hugs me and I hug her back, her lavender smelling hair engulfing my senses. She straddles my waist and kisses me "I'm sorry if I pressured you" she murmurs and I shake my head no. "You didn't, I'm sorry. I just didn't know how to react." I whisper and my hands rest on her waist. I feel her heartbeat quicken and I smile.
-time skip-
"Billie, have you seen my pajamas?" Ryann calls out from the bathroom. "Yeah, they're on your bed." I say, grabbing them and handing it to her. "Thanks" she smiles and closes the bathroom door. I was already in my pajamas and I was just waiting for Ryann so that I could cuddle with her. She lays down next to me and hugs me tightly, her legs entangled with mine. "Goodnight Billie" She whispers, I kiss her forehead and play with her soft brown hair. "Goodnight Ryann" I say and her eyes start to droop. A faint smile comes across her face as her eyes fully close. I listen to her rhythmic heartbeat as I start to become sleepy. My eyelids become heavy and I yawn before sleep overcomes me.
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3:40 am
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I awake to the sound of heavy breathing, my eyes flutter open and my arms move, not finding Ryann there. "Ryann?" I whisper, rubbing my eyes and sitting up to look around the moonlit room. My eyes scan the room and find pure horror. "Ryann, what are you doing?" I say and her green eyes shoot towards me. "You." She says, her eyes swirling with pure fear. "Ryann...what's happening?" I ask, now standing up. She takes a step back and I feel a pang of hurt in my chest. "You took everything from me.." she whispers, something gleams in the moonlight against her neck. It's her knife. "You took my entire life away..." she says shakily. "You drugged me and dragged me away to this. To become a Nightingale and kill relentlessly." She says, pressing the blade harder against her neck. "I'm going crazy..I fell in love with you" She says, letting out a broken sob. "And out of all people..you..I'm out of my fucking mind" she whispers, her hands shaking. "Ryann, you need to calm down." I say, taking a step closer to her.
She points the knife at me "Don't fucking tell me to calm down. You expect me to be okay with all of this? What were you thinking? "Oh, I'll just drug this girl and take her away so she'll never live a normal life again."" She says, throwing up air quotes. "I fucking hate you, you know that? I hate you!" She yells, digging the knife deep into the drywall next to her. She continues to stab the wall until she breaks down crying and dropping the knife.
She giggles and looks at me "these past few days have been making me crazy..if you couldn't tell" she laughs before continuing to cry. I walk closer to her and wrap my arms around her "you didn't really mean that, did you?" I whisper and she nods her head no. "No..I'm sorry" she whispers, still shaking in my arms. She continues to cry into my arms until she grabs her uniform, knife, and walks out the door without a word. I look at the crumbled drywall and consider how to cover it. I look around and grab a tapestry from the closet, nailing it so it overs up the holes. I grab a hoodie and quickly slip it on, running out to find Ryann. I walk down the hallway and scan the area, at the very far corner I see her. I make my way over there and see her shredding a boxing bag with her blade. "Fuck you" She grunts and she tears the bag down. She kicks at the shredded bag and huffs. I hop into the rink and she faces me, tossing the blade to the side.
"Punch me" She says and my eyes widen. "What?" And she comes closer to me. "Punch me, or like hurt me" She says and I shake my head no. "Just do it" She says and looks at me. "Okay.." I agree hesitantly, I punch her face and recoil. "You good?" I asks and she nods "again." She says. "What?" I question, is she okay? "Again" I punch her again and she takes a deep breath in. "Okay, thanks" she says. "How cold is the pool?" She asks, hopping out the of the rink. "Cold as fuck" I say and she nods her head. We walk over to the pool and she strips down naked. She jumps in and swims to the bottom as I sit on a chair. I run my hands through my hair as I wait for her to come up. I run all of the possible conversations through my head and start to tap my foot on the floor, becoming anxious.
She doesn't come up for a while and I get worried, a sinking feeling growing in the pit of my stomach. I look over the pool and my heart rate quickens as I see how deep it is. This pool is like 20 feet deep, that's how crazy this pool is. Pretty soon she comes up and kisses my lips gently as she hoists herself up and out of the pool. "That was like two minutes" I say and she shrugs. "It felt good I guess. The feeling of my lungs almost exploding and no disruptions." She says and I immediately regret doing this to her. Yeah I love her and everything but..I took her entire life away from her. "I'm sorry Ryann, for everything." I whisper as she's drying herself off. "It's...fine Billie, I just guess I don't handle this amount change well." She shrugs and puts back on her shirt. She sits down on the bench and sighs, continuing to towel dry her hair. I get up and peck her forehead, hugging her tightly. "Come on Ryann, Let's go to bed" I say, looking into her eyes. She gets up and I hold her tightly as we're walking over to our room.
Once we get to our room we both sit down and sigh. I put my hands on her back and start to massage her shoulders, making her visibly relaxed. I stretch out on the bed and lay down, Ryann laying down on top of me. I run my fingers through her damp hair and peck her forehead. "God you don't know how sorry I am" I whisper and she looks at me. "Bil it's okay, you can't change anything now"
YOU ARE READING
Kill Our Way To Heaven | B.E.
Short Story"I was brought into this life. I didn't choose it, I didn't want it. But here I am."
