Excuses, excuses

Chapter 3

I awoke again this morning in a sweat, I heard his voice. But this time it was different. I didn't only hear his trembling sad voice, I heard him say sorry, it was like he was standing next to me saying sorry for everything he had done, I tried to find him, I just wanted to see his face, but I couldn't see anything it was pitch dark and I screamed out "sherlock! Where are you!" I turned and just saw red, red blood everywhere, fearfully, I closed my eyes. I lay down on the chair in my counsellor office and recalled the nightmares. He said I was obsessing over the last day and that I needed to focus my thoughts on something else, he suggested I adopt a hobby, or a sport...maybe a girlfriend. The last suggestion shocked me, I hadn't even thiught about moving forward with my life since he died, it would feel like I'm replacing him, I hated not having sherlock around, he was the only one I ever trusted and I lost him, I'm not putting myself in that situation again.

A few days passed, I had stayed away from my counsellor because I hated bringing up the past every single week. I decided to distract myself with other things...that weren't counselling. As it happens, Harry had decided to go back to dating men because girls where too much trouble. A couple of months after dating her new boyfriend. It was about 7:00 in the morning. I was already up becuase of the nightmares, so I ended up watching the sun rise, that's when I got the text, it buzzed in its draw, I'm not sure why anyone would text me so early. I pulled out the draw and grabbed the phone.

Hello brother...could you come meet me at Terrans hospital.

It was a smaller hospital up where she lived in the suburbs of London. I was so worried, after years of her drinking problem and having to pump her stomach, the horrible thoughts started to spiral through me head. I jumped out of bed, threw on a jumper and a pair of jeans and ran down the stairs into a cab, the ride to Terrans hospital was about half hour at this time in the morning, those where the longest minutes of my life. When I finally arrived, I went inside and asked the receptionist where she would be, the woman pointed to a bed in the corner, my sister was sat on the edge of it looking quite tired and nauseated. I dashed over and asked her what was wrong, did she drink again? Did she do something worse?
She just looked at me and said, "getting a boyfriend was a bad idea" I just looked at her, trying to look more sympathetic and less worried. I assumed she'd been dumped and drunk her own weight in alcohol, but then harry just looked at me and said, "brother, I'm pregnant". Oh thank god I said to myself, I was obviously shocked, but relieved she was OK. I took her arm and pulled her up off the bed, she hugged into me and all i said was, "I'm glad you're ok Harriet".

We both took a cab back to the flat, she explain that she had been feeling very sick all day and was worried she'd caught a bad illness going round in her workplace, when she'd found out she was actually pregnant, her and her boyfriend had a massive argument, she was so hysteric that the nurse thought it best she stayed there the night, to avoid a relapse in her recovery.

Her useless boyfriend texted this morning saying, "Sorry, I just cant so this H". Which is when she decided to text me, I let her cry on my shoulder as I told her I'd do anything I could, it was hard to see her struggling, but I hadn't thought about sherlock in hours, I even layed her down in our bed. The main thought going through my brain right now was that I needed to stay strong for my sister.

Harry slept till midday, she woke and spent the day eating ice cream and watching horror movies (her favourite) By the end of the day my flat was covered in tissues, blankets and empty ice cream tubs, I joined her on the sofa and we both fell asleep early. I slept through the entire night, no nightmares, no waking up in a sweat.

FLASHBACK.

Keep your eyes fixed on me, please will you do this for me? This phone call its-

its my note, it's what people do isn't it? Leave a note.

Leave a note when?

Goodbye John.

END OF FLASHBACK.

Breathing heavy, I shouted out sherlocks name as hard as I could, crying my eyes out I sat up against the back of the bed, I hadn't only heard the "Goodbye John" but I had heard the whole note, the whole bloody thing. If only I had known! I could have stopped it! I shouted this all out, "I wish I could have stopped it!!" Harry ran into the bedroom and flung her arms around me saying it was ok, everything was going to be ok, I was safe. I hugged her so tight she asked for me to calm down and let go in the end. She looked at my red eyes and the sweat poring down my forehead. She was so worried about me. I was worried about myself. I needed to be with sherlock, I wanted him to hug me and tell me everything was going to be ok. "He's gone harry", I said to her over and over "I know john, I know".

Lestrades POV

"Come in" I said to a knock at my door, one of my forensics team came in with some papers with the results to the finger marks on the window sill. They looked shocked? I looked down at the papers and there written in bold was the name. SHERLOCK HOLMES.

I snatched up the papers and rushed down the corridor and out to where my car was parked. I jumped into my car, but before I got the chance to drive out of the parking lot. Mycroft Holmes. He stood there in front of my car, looking at me. I got out and told him to move, he wouldn't. All he said was, "i cant have people knowing sherlock's back" he had a stern look on his face and he took the papers from my dashboard and burnt them with a lighter he had in his pocket. obviously. He told me to go back to Scotland yard and keep my mouth shut or he would get someone to shut it for me. I did as he said because for some reason I knew there was a good reason Mycroft had to keep this a secret. I don't know why but I know its important, I was just glad sherlock was alive. Also a little confused as to why he broke into his own flat? Maybe to see john? Maybe to see his old home? I hope he returns soon, we need him back.