Destiny

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

“Anything?” He nodded his head. “Then tell me what happened to the Siddarth that I met three and half years ago?” Siddarth couldn’t meet her eyes, so he stared down at the carpet in his room.

“Do you know what I noticed today Siddarth? I noticed an invisible wall between you and your family may be not the whole family, but you keep your distance with all. Why? I thought you would start to work on your relationship with your family after our talk the other night.”

Siddarth closed his eyes, “That Siddarth of three and half years ago was very different from the one in front of you Gauri. He was secure in the knowledge that his family loved him. He was unaware that his family’s love for him was conditional. That Siddarth thought that, as usual, his family wouldn’t deny him anything, but he was wrong.”

Siddarth turned his head to look at her, “You know I am the oldest so most of their expectations were from me. I was the responsible one. I was the one who had to set good example for the younger kids in the family. I went along with all of their plans for me, down to the fact which school I should attend and what I should study. I never minded this because I was aware that my family knew what was best for me. They never denied me anything either, and so I was secure in the knowledge that they wouldn’t deny me the choice of my life partner either.”

Siddarth stood up and walked to the window that looked out on the garden, “Month after we moved into this house it was announced that I was to be married. I was elated thinking this is it, I can tell them about you, but then I remembered our pact and kept my mouth shut. Two months later we were invited for a dinner at my uncle’s friends house, what I hadn’t realized was that it was actually to meet the girl they wanted me to marry. I was shocked to learn this and when we came home I said no to the alliance. Then I learned that my family didn’t want to hear my no, as a matter of fact it was not even my choice. As far as they were concerned everything was already set.

“To make the long story short none of my reasons swayed them. I finally said yes but my plans were something else entirely. I asked them to please give me one day to sort things out. That one-day was the day we were supposed to meet. I was going to come to meet you but the day before it was announced that we were to have an informal engagement the next day.” Siddarth turned his back to the window and looked at Gauri, “Do you know why the plans changed suddenly?” He didn’t wait for Gauri to ask him why.  

“Because my mom found out that I loved someone and she decided she knew what was best for me and was not going to give me a chance to mess things up. I tried reasoning with her, I begged her to at least reconsider, but she wouldn’t budge. Finally she gave me an ultimatum. It was my love or her life, choose between the two, and I chose her life.” Siddarth clenched his hands. He still remembered that day, how he had felt letting go of his dream. On that day something inside him withered and died.

Gauri went to stand next to him. She realized how he must have battled with himself. No matter what path he chose, the pain of the decision was inevitable. “Siddarth I understand why it made you angry, but you have to look at it from your mom’s point of view also. She must have had a strong reason for insisting on this alliance.” She took his hand in hers and made him look at her, “Your mom loves you very much and she is hurting because she hurt you. Siddarth she also has regrets and it is time to let go of this anger and pain.”

Siddarth cupped her face and just gazed at her sweet face. He couldn’t deny her anything but this one thing she is asking him is going to kill him, “For you I will do my best but I will need time to do this. I don’t want them to take me for granted like they did before. Gauri I..,” He couldn’t say anymore. How can he explain to her that forgiving his family is not easy? What they did to him cost him his life. He didn’t want to take a chance on his family interfering in his life again.